Third Baby Syndrome?
July 5, 2009 by Kailani
Filed under main blog, my family, random thoughts
When I first found out I was pregnant with both Girlie Girl and Baby Bug, I immediately went into planning mode. I made lists of possible names, baby items I needed, nursery themes, birthing options, etc. I started scouring the internet for the latest in baby gear.
Now with a little over 3 months left of this pregnancy, I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t done a single thing to prepare for her upcoming arrival. I haven’t even told our pediatrician that our family will be expanding. I haven’t done any shopping, any planning. I don’t even have possible name choices.
Is this what they call the Third Baby Syndrome? Is this poor child headed for a lifetime of hand-me-downs and a lack of photos documenting her childhood? With the birth of my first daughter, second-hand didn’t even enter my mind. Everything had to be brand new.
I blame it on the lack of energy I’ve been feeling during this rough pregnancy and am hoping that things will kick into gear one she’s here. Until then, I’ll be cruising Craigslist for affordable used baby items. Hey, she won’t know the difference, right?
Did you prepare differently for the birth of each child?
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About the author: Owner and founder of An Island Life. Sharing my life as a mother to 3 wonderful daughters, working as a flight attendant, and living a blessed life in Hawaii. |
It’s funny, I had nothing with my first child… think I was in denial the whole pregnancy. But planned everything with my 2nd child.
I hope everything comes into order soon!
I did prepare differently. I was so sick and depressed with the first that I hardly did anything. Add to the fact that we had no extra money and one car, and I was home most of the time.
With my 2nd, I was still sick, but I had a doctor who was kind enough to not say “That’s just part of being pregnant” (as if throwing up and passing out every day is). Because of this, I was on meds for the “morning” sickness and felt better than the first time around although still tired. We were in a bit better position financially, so I was able to shop some yard sales and consignment shops for some gear we didn’t have the first time that would be nice to have.
That said, the crib was barely up 2 weeks when the first was born, and with the 2nd, my husband was thankful they made me stay in the hospital 48 hours after birth so he could go home and put the crib together.
I’m a third child born to an exhausted mother. In fact, my brother was a special needs child, and so she was all out doing for him and my sister, with little time for a third child. My sister was a great help to her and she remembers sitting in the crib giving me a bottle or two. Didn’t do me any harm. In fact my sister and I are very close. (Sadly, my brother died very young)
In any case, my mother actually got a baby book, and then tossed in the cards, pictures, etc. That’s okay. At least I got the little baby book, and a few snaps.
Every child I prepared absolutely different. The first 2 are similar but nothing compares to the first…like you said only brand new store bought (yeah you can afford it when that’s all you have is one). The photo albums got fewer and smaller. My fourth child doesn’t have an album or has ever had her professional pic’s taken..she’s almost 8 mths. I also didn’t contact the pediatrian til after she was born(with #4). So as hard as it is to imagine if you had another you would get even more lax.
Well, I had to buy a bunch of new things for my third since she was a girl and I had two boys before her. I had nothing girly! But with my second boy I was like you are now. Very chill.
I think it’s two things – you’ve had a rough, exhausting pregnancy and I think in the back of your mind you know the rest will come – you’ve done this twice now – you know what you’re doing – your like a seasoned professional now and you probably don’t need 9 months to plan every aspect. How much of our planning goes out the window once baby arrives anyway?
I was probably MORE spastic with my 7th than I was with my 1st. I didn’t prepare much with my 3rd and 4th, but I had everything for my 3rd, and it was still all out. I also was less than thrilled to be pregnant because my second child was a monster. (she’s GREAT now, doesn’t believe in dating, waiting until marriage for her first KISS, and she is our town’s princess! and pretty obedient)
I LOVE getting ready for baby. With my 7th I paniced because it was a difficult pregnancy and I was in bed most of it. So I couldn’t get anything done. I cried over paint colors, lol.
I’m sure you will start to feel motivated closer to her arrival…I know that I go in cycles of productivity and not wanting to lift a finger with this baby! LOL!
My girlfriend just had her 3rd baby and she was the same way… I don’t think your feelings and actions are abnormal at all. She just went through the motions… She was a crack up!!
I only have the two, but I hear that it’s not that unusual to feel as you do. Two of my sisters have three kids, and with each of them, they felt as if they didn’t prepare the same way for the third one as they did for the first two.
I didn’t prepare for my third like I did my first two. I think it is because I was so tired chasing around the first two. Plus, after I had the first two down, I wasn’t nearly as paranoid about adding another one to the craziness.
Its those other troublesome kids;). I have a feeling that you are investing more time with the older 2 than you ever did planning for them. So if that block of time was free;).
well, I suppose I was forced into preparing more for my third because she was my first girl…. plus she was a surprise so I had gotten rid of everything. BUT I did not prepare early. I would say about 2 months before she was born I started gathering hand-me-downs from friends. About a week before she was born I started “nesting” and got A LOT done, even bought a few cute girlie outfits for her.
However, I will say her baby book sucks.
BUT thanks to digital cameras we have WAYYYY more pictures of her than of our sons… of course they are all trapped on the computer but at least we have them.
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Unfortunately we have less than a few minutes of video of her and we have tons of the boys.
The third is just different.
with the other two pregnancies, you didn’t have two children taking away all your less than excess energy.
Possibly you are still a bit tentative after having experienced the loss. Our emotions are tricky things. You still could be in a protective mode.
I’ll name the baby if you can’t decide. How about….mmmm…. PAMELA!!
My sister has a beautiful baby book. All the milestones are recorded, photos glued in, etc.
My mother handed my baby book to me when I was in my 20’s and got my first real home of my own. It was a collection of Hallmark cards, photos, and other assorted trinkets bound together in no particular order in a rubber band on top of a blank baby book.
She apologized.
The reality was that we moved 2,000 miles from S. Dakota to California when I was 6 months old. She already had an 8-year-old. Having a baby and packing up her entire life, buying a new home, setting up the home, etc. left no time for a baby book.
Alas, my youngest’s book is better than mine, but still not as complete as his older brother’s. I was in law school when he was born — a total surprise pregnancy — while, in contrast, I stayed home and rested in preparation for #1Son.
Be kind to yourself. Be easy with yourself You already have 2 busy, active, little girls and are not as young as you were when you had them (sorry, but it’s true). You are doing the best you can and you will love this child no less. If you are tired, rest now because you know you won’t be resting after she is born. And in the end, the baby book doesn’t really matter because the real book will be written in her memories of her wonderful mother and loving family. Just as mine was. Just as (hopefully) Mattie-Boo’s is.
Well I was in this situation myself as a third child and it wasn’t so bad after all- I think there sounds like some substance to the third baby thing but it never hurts the baby really.. I like to think I turned out OK. Besides, the third child sometimes gets spoiled MORE, so it probably ‘all comes out in the wash’.
Our second is on the way and I can tell my wife really wants to splash out on new stuff but we have been given loads of second hand girl clothes in the event it’s a girl and our boy has tons of clothes, so really we don’t need much. In saying that i want her to enjoy that part of it too so we will probably renew some things.
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