Parenting Advice To Myself
I have a bad habit.
Whenever I’m busy or distracted, I don’t always listen to what Girlie Girl is saying. Yes, I admit it. Sometimes I’ll even answer without hearing the entire question. My usual response? “I don’t know.”
Then today, she said to me, “But Mommy, I thought you knew everything.” That stopped me in my tracks.
Do I really want her to grow up thinking that I don’t know anything, or worse yet, don’t care about what she’s saying? Soon she’ll be old enough to figure out that I probably wasn’t even listening to her. Then what? Will she stop coming to me with her questions? Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I never listen to her. We try to set aside time every day to just sit down and talk about “stuff”, whether it be about school or a new movie coming out.
One thing I’ve always stressed was open communication. I tell her that she should be able to come to me and tell me anything. Well then, maybe I better start paying closer attention to her, especially during the times when it may not be very convenient. Or at the very least, let her finish her question before I say, “I don’t know.” 
What’s your best parenting advice?
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Around the blogosphere this week:
- Stop by An Island Review for my thoughts on Dry Cleaner’s Secret. Enter to win a free sample to try out for yourself!
- Congratulations to Grace of Sandier Pastures for winning Write From Karen’s Photo Contest. You can see her winning entry here.
- The Carnival of Family Life is up at Why Homeschool.
- One of my favorite bloggers has started her own review site. Check out MomViews.
- Guess who won $250 to spend at Gymboree courtesy of Love Shak, Baby?
- You have until August 24th to complete your events for Mama Blogga’s BlogOlympics.
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About the author: Owner and founder of An Island Life. Sharing my life as a mother to 3 wonderful daughters, working as a flight attendant, and living a blessed life in Hawaii. |
Thanks! That was a tough competition. I wanted to back out when you joined at the last minute!
My parenting advice (to myself) is, to get my hands off the keyboard when my daughter is talking, no matter who is online. Once, I was chatting mith my brother in Tokyo and my daughter spoke, I answered, talking to her while still typing.
She pushed the keyboard aside and told me, “type later, mama”. I froze.
If my youngest is any indication, GG will NEVER stop asking questions. Even if you repeatedly say I don’t know.
We are all guilty of doing what you described at one time or another, if I’m busy I turn to the questioner and ask “Is this very important right now?” If it is I take the time to answer, if it isn’t they have to wait until I’m free.
My worst parenting habit is doing too much around the house for the kids. They are older and should help out more, but sometimes it’s just quicker if I do it myself.
Congrats on the win! I am sooooooo jealous.
My best parenting advice: Play with your kids more often. This is one I’ve been working on. I’m good at taking the kids out to play at parks and so on but haven’t been so good at playing with them. But I’ve realized it means so very much to them if I play in their imaginary games or with their action figures.
Thanks for playing, ladies. It was so fun!!
My parenting advice? Stop, relax, be patient and listen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cut my sons off when they were talking to me just because I was too impatient for them to finish their thought. I’ve consciously stopped, apologized for interrrupting them and then forced myself to slow down and LISTEN to what they were saying.
Also, respect their opinions. If they get into trouble and need to be grounded or disciplined, I’ve gotten into the habit of asking what they consider fair punishment. I’ve been surprised, on more than one occasion by their fair and honest answers. It actually makes my job easier! *grin*
I find myself doing this too – my kids have the habit of asking questions at the most awkward times or when I’m right in the middle of something else. I need to remember that it won’t kill me to stop what I’m doing for a few minutes to address what they’re asking… My oldest will keep asking and asking and asking until she gets an answer and sometimes it’s just easier to say that I don’t know and that’s something I really need to stop doing too.
Congrats on the contest win!
I’m jealous… 
I’m glad that you’re thinking about this one so early on! I found myself realizing how Ashlyn viewed me in about the 1st or 2nd grade when they had to draw a picture of her family and I was represented as running in with my briefcase in one hand and my cell phone in the other. Since then, I’ve been very conscious of trying to make sure that she always gets the “Ashlyn” time she deserves. She’s also growing enough now to realize that sometimes it just can’t BE Ashlyn time right at that second and gives me space when I need it too. It’s give and take (which is ultimately what I’m hoping I’ve taught Ashlyn) and I think you’re a great mom, and I bet your girls think so too.
BTW while you’re not listening to GG, could you come over to my place? I’ve tagged you for a really thought provoking and NEW! Meme that I thought was cool.
I tend to say “hang on” too much. And will shout back at my son that he’s not supposed to yell at me…. hmmmm…
Well as my kiddo is older, I have learned that it’s best to get her input on what we do. If I go and sign her up for something that she doesn’t wanna do…well she get’s her stubborness from me.
LOL!
I think our entire mothering experience is also a learning experience. No matter how many books we’ve read there is no one answer for everyone because we are all different.
I say “Just a minute” way too often… and of course, it is never just a minute. It’s more like an hour… guess it’s something I need to work on!
Congrats on the gift card! What a fantastic win!! Time to SHOP!!!
Great post! And a reminder (for all of us).
Ah….my self-tip parenting book is chuck full! The challenge is in the daily implementation of it all. LOL Sometimes I think the hardest part of being a parent is to be able to slow down and really be WITH your child most of the time. There’s always so much to do, etc. that it’s so easy to get distracted and thus be distracted around them. You’re in good company down here in the trenches.
Hugs,
Holly
My mother, a teacher, would ignore us by saying “huh?” to everything we said. That would give her time to process whether she needed to answer or not. It’d be so annoying when you’d start to repeat your question, but she’d answer anyway. ha!
I advise saying what I say at work on a conference call when I stop paying attention. “I’m sorry, someone IM’d me when you said that, can you repeat the question?”
What an awesome prize. I just read about you winning over at Love Shak, congratulations!
Congrats on your win!
I always try to answer the questions, but J talks a lot. And I mean a lot! So, sometimes when I am talking with someone else, like my Mom or Sister, and he is just talking to try to distract us, I will say “really?” or “that’s great” or something even if I don’t know exactly what he said. I know it is aweful, but sometimes I just can’t follow two conversations at once.
Hay girl I made an add for you sorta dorky but it is out there.
Those non-stop questions can be exhausting, especially when I answer but they keep on asking.
My biggest challenge is being consistent even when I’m tired or feeling down.
to lighten up!!!!
Congrats on the shopping spree!
My son doesn’t give me a chance to give him the “Wait a minute speech”, he’ll ask over and over again until he gets an answer. If anything he’s persistant.
Keeping communication open, and just being there for my kids when they’ve needed me.
well i certainly don’t have parenting advice. But i ignore the wife occasionally too.
Smile, touch, and look into their eyes. Those are the little things my boys thrive on. They don’t mind waiting a minute for me to pay attention to them if I turn, look, and smile as I ask them to wait. That also sort of prevents blowing them off, because if you look into their eyes, you kinda can’t help but stop and listen to them. They are usually so excited about what they have to say.
Congrats on the spending spree what fun. My best parenting tip right now is don’t sweat the small stuff.
I have three older kids and one little one she is reaping the benefits of the mistakes I made with them lol
Great reminder. I know that sometimes it’s just so hard to break your focus for the constant questions!
Jane, P&B Girls
best advice from me:
choose your battles wisely. And then stick to your guns.
Oh, I can so relate…I have done the same thing and it’s usually when I am trying to concentrate on something…
Thank you for this needed reminder. I always want to stress open communication, too…not just when it’s convenient for me!
I so appreciate your honesty in this post.
Oh, and as for your question and comment about HSM2…I think I would have to agree! I loved this new one, but I think you’re right that the story line was a bit better in the first. But the music in this last one is great!
On a serious note, and related to your topic here…my eight year old is absolutely in love with this movie…yet, she said she can’t get over how the actor and actress playing Troy and Gabriella could actually kiss in it when it means nothing to them (the actors). She understands that everyone in it is actually acting…but I’m thinking she believes (and rightly so) a kiss to be rather sacred. Wow! Talk about a conversation starter! I want to take some one on one time with her to touch on that subject a bit…and to do so from the standpoint of my faith. Even a somewhat “innocent” movie can trigger ideas and thoughts that need to be discussed with our children!
Blessings!
My best parenting advice, well ok I have two
1- listen to what everyone else says, and do what is comfortable for you. You know your child better than anyone. MAybe ideas from several people and mushed together will work for you.
2- when you child hurts themselves, don’t tell them “you’re ok, you’ll be fine” Tell them that “I’m sure it hurts etc” How do you know it doesn’t hurt, Junior is crying right? It hurts to them,
Best advice i ever got!
First off, congrats on the Gymboree prize…woo hoo!
Gosh, I’m constantly reminding myself to “slow down” and just enjoy the moment. I’m not a very patient mommy and I have to remember that even if it takes an extra 5 minutes for my girls to do something themselves, that it is worth it to boost their confidence and self esteem.
Also, as a mom to two girls I try not to always focus on their looks, but to also praise them for doing a good job on an art project, or answering a question correctly whether it be about colors, their ABCs, etc.
I know what you mean . . . it’s hard to engage with our little ones 24/7. I don’t succeed. Just the other day my girl was playing by herself and her dolls and I heard her say “I JUST don’t CARE!” In the exact tone I would say it. *ehem* That says a lot right there . . . sign me up for some support group!!!
But I do believe in the power of words . . so if I could pass anything GOOD on, I would say, never to address the kid as bad/stupid/faulty but the action. The difference between “Your so clumsy.” vs. “That’s why mom told you to be careful, cause rushing can make you slip!”
I remember believing my parents new everything.
lol
My best parenting advice: Your children wont be young forever. Enjoy every minute with them.
One day they’ll be running around innocent and half naked. Then , before you realize it, you’ll turn around and they’ll be a lot older, hiding out in their room on the computer, wanting to spend all their time with their friends on IM.
Me and my son use to do so much together. I’d read to him before he went to sleep, play nintendo, go to the park, play games with him we’d made up. WOW I miss those days SO MUCH.
Now I’m lucky if he just wants to talk to me.
And we use to talk about anything and everything.
You lucky girl! I hope you are going to post pictures of all the great stuff you buy with that Gymboree gift certificate.