Finding Quality Time – Together
This is a very hard thing for our family to do.
Since we don’t have child care for Baby Bug, DH and I have to work opposite schedules. This means that he works 5 days a week and I work on the other 2 days. As you can see, this does not allow us much opportunity to spend time all together.
So what do we do?
When DH and I come home from work, it’s usually still early in the afternoon. And even though we’re probably dead tired from the jet lag, we make it a point to go out and do something together – even if it’s only a trip to the park. The trick is to not sit down. Once you come home and sit down, you’re never getting back up again. Believe me.
We do this because we want to show the girls that life in not only about working and making money. Yes, it is important to be able to provide for your family but is that the only thing you want your kids to remember when they grow up? I want them to know that Mommy and Daddy made the time to do things together as a family. I want them to know that they are a blessing, not an obligation. I want them to know how much we love them. Hopefully, they will pass this on to their children, as well.
How do you find quality time to spend with your family?
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BTW, did you know there’s a new children’s show coming to PBS? Check out my review of Word World at An Island Review.
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About the author: Owner and founder of An Island Life. Sharing my life as a mother to 3 wonderful daughters, working as a flight attendant, and living a blessed life in Hawaii. |
I feel guilty just thinking about those years
Girl, this is very topical for John and I right now…he works soo late and I pick up all the extra slack here & type. We’re nearly frazzled and fried up by the time our paths cross…hmmm I like your suggestion. Keep moving keep moving! I’ll try that. xoxo
We were lucky that when the boys were little, both of our mothers were still alive and living independently in their homes. So our kids spent a lot of time with both grandmas. That was important to both of us, me especially since my mother’s parents lived in So. Dakota and I hardly ever saw them & we had nothing to do with my father’s family. We used to take them to one grandma or the other & let them spend the night. They all had a great time and we would just sneak back home after a nice dinner, perhaps a movie. A few times a year that really was a treat.
Both mothers also took care of them when they were “off track” — we had year-round school then and they were off for 2 months: January and February. Can you believe that screwy schedule? So every day, I would say, “OK, Grandma or Nana?” And they would run ask their father what time he was going to work. If his schedule was such that he could drop them at his mother’s house, it was Grandma’s. Otherwise, I dropped them here with my mother — in their pj’s and she fed them breakfast. They were totally spoiled rotten by both grandmas and I had peace of mind knowing they were perfectly safe and well cared for.
Yes, I know how lucky we all were.
Both grandmas are dead, but they have wonderful memories. And, of course, we live in my parents’ house, so many of those memories were made right here.
I think it is wonderful that you are making a concerted effort to spend time together and model the importance of it for your girls. Bravo to you. Wish I lived closer . . . I would certainly babysit your two beautiful girls so that you could have a night out now and then. I never had anyone to play Barbie or have a tea party with!
I’m great with Matchbox cars, Ninja turtles, etc., though. 
It sounds like you and your husband really try to balance out family/work life and you are setting a great example for your girls about what really is a priority in life! Yea you!
“Once you come home and sit down, you’re never getting back up again.”
I totally agree!!! I try to push myself to do at least 15 minutes of housework before sitting down and sometimes find myself energized enough to do even more. But if I sit down, all bets are off.
Congratulations on being such good parents. It is true that what all children really want is their parents time and attention, material things cannot replace that. When they become parents themselves later on, they will marvel at how you both made the effort and time to stay connected as a family.
Kudos to you, girl. Not only because you and your husband juggle your schedules to keep the girls close, but you sacrifice your time, and energy, to spend time with them. You are indeed teaching them valuable lessons – not only about working and making time for family, but the importance of sacrificing your personal needs for the sake of your family. They may not realize it now, but trust me, they will later.
You’re a great mom, Kailani.
What an inspiring post…and so true about the “not sitting down” part! Good job loving your kids enough to make them a priority, and more importantly, as you said, to make them feel like blessings, not obligations.
I feel like you’ve already got half of it covered by saying that you shouldn’t sit down or you’ll never get back up.
We’re lucky to have Sat. and Sun. all together. And then we try to have a Family night every Monday evening, where we have a little religious story time or discussion or we make cookies together or sing the kids favorite songs or play a board game etc.
It’s admirable of you to make family time a priority with such a busy schedule. I’m sure you’re children will remember and appreciate the effort.
I totally echo Write From Karen’s thoughts. You are a great mom and its really neat that you work opposite schedules (that sacrifice) to stay at home with the girls.
I don’t have any easy answers cause as you know, I’m a single parent that works full time. Usually, I don’t spend nearly as much time wtih my son as I need to. However, I try to MAKE MYSELF at least one night a week do something with my son that he wants to do. (As of late, it is the bike riding). I get my exercise without being separated from him and its good for us to exercise and experience nature together!
What a great post. My hubby works long hours and almost never gets home before 7 pm. So our kids stay up kind of late (9:30) to get plenty of daddy-time, and we always do a family thing on Sunday afternoons. STILL – it’s HARD!!
What a great sentiment and message, and you’re absolutely right – the trick is, not to sit down.
Now if we could just put that wisdom into practice!
Cheers
We’re very blessed in the fact that I do not have to work. So to spend time with DH is the issue. DD & DH used to play together while I made dinner each night and we do sit down as a family for dinner pretty much every night (we may miss one or two nights per month.) And on the weekends we’re together pretty much all the time.
Finding time for just DH & me…that’s another problem. He still insists that DD be asleep or away…but every time I’ve arranged for her to be away we’ve had one of us get sick or something. LOL!
I think he wants to go away for our anniversary…so we’ll see about that.
Just wanted to say first off… I LOVE your blog theme!
Finding time for us is hard too. My hubby works 6 days and sometimes 7 days a week. I work at home so as soon as he comes through the door we eat dinner and off I go to my home office to work and he spends the time with the girls.
I know eventually when they go to school (which I will be so sad) it will get better, but we are like you in which we want to be the ones that are with our girls at all times and not send them to childcare.
Sunday’s if he is off.. we always make that our family day and either go to the beach, go on a picnic, find a family park etc. We want to make sure we do something fun that its just for our family. Even sometimes we will just stay at home and veg at the pool or cookout.
*hugs* I know its hard as well. But our children will appreciate we are always with them right?
I loved this! Wonderful how you take the challenge of your family’s schedule and make it a point to spend a little time all together. You are so right…this is the kind of thing that they will always remember!
(And great tip about not sitting down…I’ll have to remember that!)
We have to make dates. Yes, family dates!! If we didn’t, my husband would live in his lab…
Right now we try to take the kids out swimming each evening. It’s just in the backyard, but they do love it. We also try to do something each Saturday that is fun. Doesn’t always happen, but we try.
Lately we have been spending the evenings in the pool after Mike gets home. A couple of hours swimming together, then dinner, then bed. We have had it easy this summer but I’m sure Mike will go back to working tons of OT again in the fall. We will have to figure something else out then.
Sunday is our FAMILY DAY! I take my daughter out during the week for activities, but nothing beats being with her daddy.
You and your husband are making quite an effort and trust me it will pay off. Great values!
We’re thinking in the same vein today! I think the most important thing I want to do is focus on the good stuff and not the bad. Taking time to really talk and play with them does SO much for all of us!
Hugs,
Holly
My husband reads to the kids every night and on weekends we try to do a little time together. Every Friday night is family date night. We watch a movie together at home. Hubby keeps an eye out during the week and finds a dvd for little $ often it will be an old movie. Oldie but Goldie. Once a movie in theater comes out on dvd we a wait the price reduction or get it on a grocery lead in item. Then we can pause the movie any time we want for potty breaks or drink refills. Cheeper and no traffic or crouds. We take turns cuddleing the kids. often we bring in a fast food meal so I get a night off of cooking.
Our kids ages are so spread out that as a WHOLE family we don’t really do a lot together anymore, having said that i spend a lot of one on one time with the kids individually. Sunday is the at home day and DH and I will usually do things with the youngest two.
The oldest son doesn’t even live here anymore lol, I did take him to lunch on Monday though
Definitely weekends. Doing “stuff” together.
We are really lucky, we spend a lot of time with the children. I work from home, and my husband works only every other week (7 days, 12 hrs a day and then week off), and even when we works, he has night shifts. So he is home a lot too, and it has been great with the kids!
We too did the decision a long time ago not to put kids to day care and it has worked great. One more year, and they all go to school.. I’m gonna miss these days!
something we have made a priority, and i recommend to any young family, is eating dinner together. it’s easy to get out of the habit as the kids grow older and schedules get a little crazy, but the long term benefits make it worth it.
we also had a family night just about every friday. again, the benefits are recognizeable and nothing but positive.
You and the hubby are amazing! I totally agree, once you sit down, it’s ovah!
Suppertime/after work for Hubby is our family time. We try to make sure that something fun happens, be it a game or swimming or playing outside. Time that they can spend together, sometimes I participate, other times I just hang out and watch them have fun. On the weekends we try to do fun stuff together as a family. This summer has been harder, but we are managing to get some quality family time in.
I think it is great that the two of you make that effort even when you are dead on your feet. That is usually when other parents give in.
We try to have a family movie night every Saturday night. We get take-out, rent a video, and stay up later, hanging out together.
I’m pretty good about getting us to sit down as a family at dinner time several nights a week, despite basketball, tae kwon do, and choir practices. It’s tough, but my kids know that hubby and I will do whatever it takes for us to be together. Even if we don’t go out and do anything, they love that we’re all together.
agree about spending quality time…with hubby away almost always and only gets home once or twice a month, I always make it a point to do things together, and anything from playing to eating to goofing around, when hubby is home..
How I remember and disliked those days!! My husband working as a restaurant manager for 10-14 hours, and then coming home to change hands with the kids, so I could work my 6-8 hours. He worked Saturdays, I worked Sunday mornings, I don’t even think we had a night to each other. It all became a blur. Eventually all things come to an end, now I’m a SAHM, and he’s doing a great job on getting his own business going, so he can be his own boss. So sometimes change is a good thing!YEAH!
I remember enjoying just doing errands with him. Even if it was going to Target or Wallmart for diapers or groceries, as long as we did it together.