Attacked By Flying Poop

July 17, 2007 by Kailani  
Filed under my family

39 Comments

For those who have been visiting me from the beginning, this story will probably sound familiar to you. It’s not something I care to relive but I’m doing it just for you, Karen. ;-)

It was a typical Monday morning when I was preparing to go to work. I’m usually running around in a mad rush trying to get everyone ready and out of the house on time. However, on this day, I was actually ahead of schedule. I had enough time to drop Girlie Girl off at school, Baby Bug at my parents’ house, and even make a quick stop at Starbucks. Things were looking good!

We were just about ready to leave when I heard a strange sound coming from Baby Bug’s tummy. Now, all my Mommy experiences should have told me to just leave well enough alone. However, my curiosity got the best of me and I opened up her diaper to see what was going on.

The next thing I knew, I was being attacked by flying poop. It was everywhere . . . on the bed, on my clothes, in my hair . . . and ARGHHHHH . . . on my face! I froze in horror. Baby Bug must have felt a lot better since she was now happily squirming in it.
When what happened finally hit me, I knew I had to do something to clean up the mess. But what to do first? Should I clean the bed since the cats were now leaving poop tracks everywhere? Do I clean myself up before the stench started to sink into my pores? Do I clean up Baby Bug before she buries herself in it?

All of a sudden, Girlie Girl appeared at the door and yelled, “Ewww, Mommy, you have doo doo all over you!”

So what started as a peaceful morning turned into chaos as both Baby Bug and I showered and got changed. I stripped the bed and threw everything into the wash. The cats were put outside until I could later wash their paws. We then raced out of the house.

Believe it or not, Girlie Girl made it to school on time and I was able to get on the plane before it left the gate. Starbucks would just have to wait for another time.

BTW, there are 2 contests going on right now that I’m entering this post in.

Pediascribe’s KLEAN “Dirty Stories” Contest
Adventures in Babywearing’s Grosser Than Gross Giveaway

About the author:
Kailani is the owner and founder of An Island Life. You'll find her sharing her daily life as a mother to 3 wonderful daughters, working as a flight attendant, and living a blessed life in Hawaii. She is also the founder of the group review site - Family Review Network. Follow along on her adventure of a lifetime this Winter as a member of the Vaseline Dry Skin Patrol!
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Comments

39 Responses to “Attacked By Flying Poop”
  1. yoshi says:

    I think almost every parent has a story like this. :P

    Oh the horror!

  2. Pamela says:

    Now that WOULD get you kicked off a plane. (:
    kind of a baby bug explosive device.

  3. Dana says:

    I can smell it from here….ewwwwww….Parental Horror Stories. Not funny at the time, but they ARE funny when you retell them. And they make such good blog posts :)

  4. Carey says:

    Oh My! At least you were able to get out the door on time.

  5. BeachMama says:

    Thank goodness I never had flying poop. Exploding poop held in by clothing, sure had lots of it, but never flying… and may I never experience that one.

  6. Heather says:

    That’s a bad one! I once came in to what I thought was a napping baby to find poop smeared all over, well, everything. So nice to know we’re not alone!

  7. Jill says:

    Oh mah gah! Parenting is so nasty sometimes!!!! And I think it’s bad when I get some on my hands!

  8. Michelle says:

    Oh the joys of being a mommy…EW!! I was similarly attacked by my girlie’s vomit recently…I’m amazed what I can now stomach as mommy that previously would have sent me over the edge vomiting profusely!

  9. Melissa says:

    I’m so glad I haven’t had breakfast yet… BLECH!! I have stories close to that level of grossnes… but not quite… eww…

  10. jenn says:

    once when k-bug was about 2 weeks old, john got up at 2am to change her.
    when he opened the diaper she wasn’t quite done and shot poo over the railing of the crib onto the floor and him.
    he was yelling, woke me from a dead sleep so that I could come help him.

    I thought it was hilarious, he still doesn’t see the humor in it, even now.

  11. Janine @ Moving Mama says:

    I got attacked by flying corn dogs once :) Yes, very disgusting. Actually, very, very, very disgusting since they were pre-digested by my Preschooler.

  12. summershine says:

    I’m truly amazed you made it.
    I am one of the very lucky few that has no real baby bodily function horror stories. My kids have been neither spitter uppers nor poop shooters.

  13. Christine says:

    The worst part of it was missing Starbucks! :(

    That is definitely a really icky and gross one. I would have started gagging and getting sick on top of everything.

  14. Tammy says:

    Oh, hilarious story!!!
    It reminds me of when my youngest was a newborn, and there was a fountain of poopie shooting up at me in the middle of the night while my husband slept blissfully on…:)

  15. Karen says:

    Projectile poop, the best kind :)
    We were attacked by number one child, but haven’t yet had the pleasure from the baby girl. Probably because she doesn’t eat enough fruit.

  16. Michelle in MX says:

    It’s a plane!
    It’s a bird!
    NO!
    It’s SUPER MOM in acction!

    :-)

  17. Desert Songbird says:

    I am happy to report this NEVER happened to me, and now that my kids are older, it never will! I have, however, been showered by my infant son. Once.

  18. wendy says:

    I am happy to say that I do not have a story like that. I have been lucky. I did almost get peed on a few times but was able to duck just in time. I think I would have been in shock and not known where to begin cleaning up too!

  19. Holly Schwendiman says:

    Oh the joys of reliving those days! I knew the exact feeling you described of the moments afterwards when you can’t decide which crisis to attack first!

    Hugs,
    Holly

  20. tracey says:

    Eeewwww!!!

    At least you got a great post from it, right?

    I once got pooped on by my infant niece. I was holding her upright in my lap. Somehow, the liquid poop shot straight up her back, out her pants, onto my pants and soaked me through my jeans and underwear! GROSS. If you think being pooped on by your OWN child is bad, try being pooped on by someone else’s child! I showered on the spot.

  21. zamejias says:

    most -if not all mommies must have experienced this kind of thing… i did a year ago when dear was still few months old…and not just once, but more than a couple of times…guess, i was just too quick to let him really finish his act..so, all happened while i was too engrossed cleaning his bottom…

  22. momto3cubs says:

    I’ve also been pooped on when getting ready to go! Sounds like you recovered very well, congratulations! :) You get a gold star.

  23. Lulu says:

    Such the multi-tasker you are, Kailani!

    Ahhh, I certainly miss the days of wiping heinies. NOT!

    I can barely handle baby poop , let alone flying baby poop! Blech.

  24. La Bellina Mammina says:

    That’s the second flying poop story I’ve read today!! lol!
    Have a safe trip!

  25. Renee says:

    I think we’ve all got a story like that one. I’m glad you all made it on time.

  26. Grace says:

    Oh my God, what a morning!! The last time I was attacked by the flying poop, it landed in my eyelashes!! the horror…!

  27. Mary says:

    Thats so wrong on so many levels! LOL!
    I wish I could think of a story about my kids being filthy, but they are both so girly!

  28. AbsolutelyBananas says:

    OMG that is truly horrible!!!!!

  29. Angela says:

    Wow…that certainly made me feel better about my potty training mishap with Norah this am…flying poop definitely trumps her fishbowl-like training pants full of t.t.

  30. PinkPowerSuit says:

    I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me. Did you ever see that email that went around with funny kid photos and there was one with a baby on a change table and a wall that was sprayed down big time by poop?

    Ahhh, babies.

  31. TopChamp says:

    aagh! ANOTHER reason not to have them…. I’m gonna have to start hearing some more good kiddie stories soon or I might remain childless for life.

  32. Mommy the Maid says:

    Oh man, what a day that had to have been!

  33. Jenny says:

    How did you keep from puking?? Ick!!

  34. Adventures In Babywearing says:

    Oh, this is a perfect GROSS story!

    Steph

  35. Glass Half Full says:

    I’d rather be hailed by frozen waterballoons!!

    Lori

  36. Elizabeth F.-The Whole Family says:

    Yep-that’s pretty disgusting! :-)

  37. Amy says:

    The face part is the doozy!

    My sister just found her 2 year old had pooped on the carpet and the boy she babysat decided to paint the whole upstairs with it! Lovely! Can you imagine cleaning that up? Oh, and, she’s 8 months pregnant!

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