Second Born
August 31, 2008 by Kailani
Filed under family topics, my family, wordless wednesday
Did you find that your second or third child tended to hit milestones earlier or later than the first?
I always thought that Baby Bug would learn things more quickly because she loves imitating Girlie Girl. She wants to be just like her big sister.
However, at 2 ½ she still isn’t close to being potty trained, she can’t properly use utensils, and I can barely understand her at times. Add to the mix that she’s short for her age, and I tend to forget that she’s not a baby anymore. In fact, she’ll be 3 in just a few months!
In a way I’m secretly glad that she’s taking her time because I’m not sure I’m ready to have her grow up on me just yet. And as much as I look forward to her starting pre-school so I can have some quiet time to myself, I know I’ll miss having my little companion around.
So, I guess I’ll continue to savor every unrecognizable word she says because I know that one day I’ll look back and miss having a baby in the house.
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Owner of An Island Life and Family Review Network. Wife, mother, and flight attendant . . . living a blessed life in Hawaii. |
I’m the first commentor? I can’t believe it! It pays to be up at the crack of dawn – ha ha.
Yep, savor every minute….cause they will be teenagers before you know it and then I think you’ll have your hands full with all those guys knocking down your door. Nice thought huh?
Happy Labor Day Kailani!
My son definitely hit milestones later than his brother. When he was 3 and still not saying more than 5 words, that’s when we took him to a speech therapist and found he had a severe articulation delay.
Sometimes they’re just late on things and sometimes there’s an actual issue. Either way, I’ve been savoring my daughters babyhood that much more. I don’t want her to get any bigger!
Well, I don’t really have much experience to draw from, as my oldest is 21 months, and my youngest is 7 months, but it seems that the youngest is the opposite of her sister in just about every way!
I think your daughter is probably just growing on her own time line.
not really I guess I never measured it that way. they all learn at their own pace. I think it took longer to get bottles away from the boy than from the girl though
Jasper is totally different than Roo was as a baby but I usually attribute that to gender. He’s more physical, more aggressive, messier… but he’s also not talking yet or walking yet, both of which his sister was doing by 13 months. I’m trying not to rush him but it gets frustrating sometimes, especially when he’s as big as Roo was at 2 already! He’s also a rotten sleeper. I’ll be happy when he’s *slightly* more independent…
It depends on where they fall in the birth order, but for sure my second son was way behind. First girl and first boy were doing great, after that, they tended to fall behind a bit. They just didn’t NEED to learn, the kids and us did everything for them, the older kids knew what they wanted and told us, so they didn’t need to learn to talk, etc.
They catch up.
Cherish every moment! They grow up waaay tooo fast! Once those days are gone, they’re gone, and I’m sure you’ll miss them as I do.
Don’t worry – She’ll learn and do things in her own time. One reason she may not be as “quick” as your first is because she doesn’t “have” to be — she’s got others to help her out and do things for her!
I felt the same way about not having a baby around AND surprise we have Baby Bird – LOL!
But, I thought Lu and still think Lu hits a lot of things later than Lib did. I used to blame myself and say it was because we didn’t give her the same attention we gave Lib. But as time has progressed, I really don’t think that is entirely to blame. They are just different little people and very different in a lot of ways….so I’ll savor their uniqueness and love every minute of it – LOL
I remember my older two interpreting for the third one.
But, I think more than anything, it is just individuality that shines more than anything.
while I don’t have any personal experience I did have to learn about seconds for my LLL thing.
2nds tend to walk earlier than first borns…they’re trying to keep up!
they tend to talk later…1st-ies tend to translate for them so the need to speak isn’t as strong.
and the baby of the family tends to take longer pottytraining cuz mom is too tired to care.
enjoy!
Firstborns tend to do a lot for younger siblings; additionally, I think we as parents ASK the older siblings to do for the younger siblings, so the younger sibling tends to get a bit lazy. On the other hand, the younger sib does like to imitate the older ones, and that can make them more advanced in other ways.
You’ll probably find that your “baby” will all of a sudden shun babyhood as if she has a brainstorm. At least, that’s what I saw in my son. Then again, he’s a boy, so…
5 children here, 4 girls and i would say, not including the one born 4 months early with his own set of issues, each baby,m regardless of birth order hit their milestones early or later than their sibs but according to their own timetable. dd #1 didn’t walk until 14 months but was potty trained by 18 months as opposed to dd #2 who slept through the night at 1 week of age and didn’t speak until 15 months (she is scary smart!), as opposed to dd #3 who basically followed the what to expect book’s milestones to the day as opposed to dd #4 who broke my heart when she walked at age 8 months and weighing all of 15 pounds. all four girls grew up to be bright, very bright and smartr ladies ages 12 up to 21 years of age. enjoy your girls for the unique creations that they are is my advice for what it is worth.
baby bug is doing things at her own speed, and she is the “baby” of the family….enjoy!
I was the second born, and I hit all my milestones after my sister. The talking part – I didn’t have to talk. She did it for me! But when I started talking, I didn’t stop!
I think some things are easier and some things are harder. Our first two are night and day. DS1 is very intelligent (sometimes too much, KWIM) and by nature outgoing. DS2 has kind of lived in the shadow and seems quieter.
I hear you on not wanting the youngest to grow up too quickly. Right now my 5 year old is “Mommy! Mommy!” She comes around regularly for hugs or to sit in my lap or whatever. Before too long, I won’t be able to lift her up.
And I’m still not dealing with the fact that DS1 has reached puberty at age 11! *sheesh*
I only have one child and I don’t think with my life the way it is, I want more. My hubby works a lot and commutes to work, and half the time I feel like a single mother. This is not the picture I had for family life and it makes me very reluctant to have a second child. But that said, at 4 Bunny is growing up SO FAST. He will go to school in 2010 and then I fear he will become even less mine as his independence soars and a whole group of new people begin to influence him. One part of me wants him to stay my baby boy forever!
And I feel really bad saying that. Why does motherhood come with so much guilt and complex emotion? Sigh….
Kelly
My youngest was a very late talker, I actually started to worry about her. She was also VERY late at potty training. She had been trying for awhile, but at her third birthday she was not trained yet. A couple weeks after, money was tight & I literally had not a penny to buy more pull ups. I finally just put her in her underwear & dealt with the mess. Luckily it was August, so we spent lots of time outside!
She was fully trained in less then 2 weeks though. She ended up being trained about 3 years 1.5 months. My oldest was trained around 2.
My differences were my oldest was in day care & my youngest was not. That is about it.
Oh & my youngest was about a year later on the bike thing to.
My 2nd is developmentally delayed so I stopped thinking of milestones in terms of when/how old and just take them as they come.
All 4 of mine were totally different in EVERY way. As long as she IS progressing – no matter what that rate of growth may be – then she’s just fine and you can relax and enjoy her.
(This is coming to you from Groovy whose fourth child is 7 and still wets the bed and ardently sucks her thumb day and night. OY!)
I’m having the same question about Becca. I see other 2-1/2 year olds who seem so much more mature than she is – but then again she’s the youngest of three, so maybe we ‘baby’ her more than we did the other two.
I remember that I thought Hannah would be potty trained early because she’d want to be like Abby. Nope, not even close. She never even cared. I’m still hoping with Becca though – we’re going to be working on potty training this fall while I’m home with just her in the mornings.
It’s so hard to compare kids to one another – Ron keeps thinking that Becca’s speech is far behind where it should be. But – he’s remembering and comparing her to Hannah, whose speech was very advanced for her age. So I think Becca’s right on track. And I’m sure that Baby Bug is too.
And oh, I know what you mean about being excited about her going to preschool but also going to miss her…
My second born is definitely moving through the milestones much faster than her sister. At 5 months she already has two teeth, is rolling over and showing signs of crawling. I keep telling her to slow down since she will most likely be our last.
My 2nd did everything earlier than my 1st…but my older son was a preemie and hit all of his milestones pretty late!
Yep, they grow sooo fast. I’m glad you’re enjoying every moment!
I think that potty training is overrated. I figure they’ll do it when they are ready–my famous statement is, “She won’t be 25 and not able to go.” All in time, all in time. You are right to savor it all you can!
My second child is more mature in some ways and less mature than her brother in other ways. They are so very different in every way:-)
My 2nd, and especially my 3rd, did do some things sooner than the first boy did. They still do–they are always trying to keep up with the oldest boy. … Except for potty training. My youngest trained the latest, age 4 1/2!
Kailani,
My oldest grandson is incredibly smart, the school would like to push him up a grade or two. He’s the smallest in his age group and he also was in diapers until he was over three years old. Baby Bug seems as if she might be like him, very busy, always doing something. He just never wanted to take the “time” to go potty.
I remember so well, the last day of school before my youngest started Kindergarten. I suddenly realized my days of having him alone and to myself were gone. The next day the older kids would be on summer vacation and when school started again, my baby would be going too.
Enjoy your time with Baby Bug. Relish your time alone. Before you know it she’ll be in kindergarten, middle school and then going to prom. There may be a time very soon when you’ll wish she would stop talking!
Big Smile!!
My second was slower to pick up talking than his older sister but there were lots of things he did sooner too.
Hugs,
Holly
I know exactly what you mean. My son is way behind his sister in so many things, but I always figured it was cause he’s a boy! But still my baby.
I spent 1990-1996 working in an early intervention program. Children do grow and learn skills at different times. There is no doubt about that. As a child devleopment instructor, I would suggest having Baby Bug’s speech checked by a speech therapist. It will give you peace of mind and it will make sure there isn’t something going on that is affecting her speech.
My husband had speech problems when he was a child. People couldn’t understand him. When he was four, his mom asked the doctor and the doctor told her he was just thinking faster than his mouth could put out the words. In a couple of years, he was speaking fine and has done so ever since.
My youngest stepson was very hard to understand until he was about 5. Often, the only person that could understand him was his big brother. I would make sure that you and your older daughter and other family members aren’t talking for Baby Bug. If they are, then there is no reason for her to get better with her speech. This was part of what was going on with my stepson. His big brother was always interpreting for him. Also, we had him assessed by a speech therapist and for some reason, he held saliva in his mouth, so when he was talking, he was talking through a mouth of spit combined with talking to fast. Simple reminders from us to swallow and slow down, helped tremendously.
Baby Bug may be on her own time, just wanted to share some of my past experiences and let you know a lot of things can affect development.