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No Babysitter Needed

March 7, 2007

What would you do?

A friend of mine recently told me about a problem she has. Her 6 month old son throws a tantrum every time he’s left home alone with his Dad. However, if she’s home or their 10 year old daughter is there, the baby behaves normally.

The problem? She recently came back to work after being on maternity and had to fly a trip that would take her away from her family for 3 days.

Her solution? Have her 10 year old daughter skip school for 3 days to stay home with Daddy and the baby.

Am I the only one who thinks this is sooooo wrong? So the baby cries. IMHO, Daddy had better learn to suck it up and deal with it.

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Aloha from ModernMami, Housewife, MamaBee (Tonya), Amy, Bex, Summer, Tiggerprr, Mommy the Maid, Carmen, Desert Songbird, Christine, Katkat, KevinL, Michelle, Stephanie, Mary (Mert), Andrea, Jenn, Melissa, Tracey, Angela (Robinson County), Write From Karen, Michelle, Meredith, BeachMama, Carey, Debby, Pamela, Renee, and Christine

32 Comments on “No Babysitter Needed”

1
March 7, 2007
5:59 am

Christine said:

I’m with you. What kind of solution is that? Missing school so the baby won’t cry. That’s crazy talk. Dad needs to find some other way to calm the baby.

2
March 7, 2007
6:26 am

Renee said:

Well that does seem extreme for taking care of the baby. Dad does need to learn how to handle Jr on his own because DD can’t just be there the entire time. I’m sure they had DD doing school work at home, right?

Good question!

3
March 7, 2007
6:36 am

Pamela said:

She better start home schooling then.
or get a better sitter than her husband. (I’d put a hidden camera in the house and see if he’s lying just to get out of taking care of him)

4
March 7, 2007
7:01 am

Debby said:

That’s just insane. Shame on the husband for not sucking it up and dealing with it and also shame on the Mom for indulging it! Having your child miss school is not the answer. So the baby has a tantrum. We learned a long time ago when Luna was having a tantrum never to just give in. They eventually firgure it out on their own. The parents are just avoiding the problem.

5
March 7, 2007
11:52 am

Carey said:

This is so wrong for many reason.
One, shes teaching her daughter that daddy cant handle the baby crying, and that she may not trust him to do so.
Two, shes teaching her daughter that it is ok to stay home from school. I’m one for there is no excuses not to go to school, unless your really sick of course.
Lack of responsibility if you ask me. You just can’t do that.

6
March 7, 2007
1:11 pm

BeachMama said:

I think there might be more to it than just that. The biggest question here is why is the baby crying with Daddy??

I know my son went through a short patch of time where I couldn’t leave him with anyone without him crying for a few minutes (anyone being my Mom, Sister or Hubby). But, the crying was short lived and he got over it within a month or two. It was just separation anxiety. If the baby cries the whole time the Dad is alone with him, there must be something more going on there.

7
March 7, 2007
1:54 pm

meredith said:

Wrong on so many levels that I can’t even state what they are.

First off, a 10-year-old babysitting? Let alone a six month old child throwing a tantrum. So if the kids throws a fit, she has to rearrange her life, as well as her 10 year old’s life, to meet the needs of a child who isn’t even talking yet?

No way, no how.

8
March 7, 2007
2:12 pm

michelle said:

How is the babu ever gonna get comfortable around dad if never given the opportunity? This could have been the perfect bonding time for them!

9
March 7, 2007
2:27 pm

Write From Karen said:

I’m afraid that mom is setting a precedent for junior’s behavior if she caves into him now. And dad needs to buck up and deal with his son. Sure it’ll be tough. But if he doesn’t learn to cope with him now, how is he going to handle him later, when it gets REALLY bad?

It’s also unfair to ask the daughter to step in and assume responsibilities she’s not emotionally capable of handling.

I can’t help but agree with Beachmama - perhaps the mother needs to examine how the father is handling the baby? To be fair to dad, perhaps he just doesn’t understand how to take care of junior?

10
March 7, 2007
3:42 pm

Angela (Robinson County) said:

I am in total, full 100% agreement with you on this one. Maybe three days with dad without big sis would have been just the medicine the baby needs. I can’t believe they would justify skipping school just to spare a few tears. It sets a hard president for later in life when big sister wants to skip school and can’t see what the big deal is since she’s been doing it since she was 10.

11
March 7, 2007
4:15 pm

tracey said:

Dude, that is soooo wrong. On so many levels.

12
March 7, 2007
4:27 pm

Melissa said:

Okay - this is a personal pet peeve of mine… IT’S NOT BABYSITTING IF IT’S YOUR OWN KID!!! You are a parent. You care for your child. Sorry, had to get that out…
And I think that Dad should have to deal with it. It sounds like the baby needs some more time with his Daddy. Are they going to bring their daughter home from college so that their 8 year old won’t throw tantrums because he’s being left with Dad?? JMO

13
March 7, 2007
4:51 pm

jenn said:

wow. all I can say is wow. blows me away with the things people do for their kids sometimes. they ALL need to buck up.

14
March 7, 2007
5:15 pm

Andrea said:

I’m with you - that is just not right. Poor 10 yr old.

15
March 7, 2007
6:44 pm

Mary (Mert) said:

Hmmm, that’s a tough one. maybe the first day, I can see that… but 3 whole days out of school? Though it’s convenient for the dad, wouldn’t be the opposite for the daughter since she has 3 days of school work to make up?

16
March 7, 2007
7:05 pm

Stephanie said:

That is so wrong!! Dad needs to just get over it. Maybe the 3 days alone with baby would be good for him if baby is having a hard time coping with being alone with dad.

I have a feeling he is faking it just to prevent him from having to stay home from the baby. Because usually, babies calm down after a little while, no matter who it is.

17
March 7, 2007
7:12 pm

Michelle said:

I’m rather hard-hearted but I say “get over it.” Kids get clingy–even against their dads or moms sometimes, it’s really not unusual from what I’ve heard–and you can’t let your life revolve around it.

Makes you wonder how they’re going to handle things when he’s a teenager and throws a tantrum over something.

18
March 7, 2007
7:48 pm

KevinL said:

I’m a dad and I would never have a child miss school (or any other important activity) to help me because I couldn’t handle their younger sibling.

19
March 7, 2007
9:25 pm

katkat said:

Oh poor daddy! Kids should never miss school no matter what!

20
March 7, 2007
9:40 pm

Christine said:

That is way wrong! Marissa is 13, and both my husband or I would never leave the baby for her to babysit. The other 2 maybe for an hour while we go to Wallmart, or out for a quick bite to eat, but I’d never take her out of school for 3 days.
My husband watched Katelyn from the time she was 6wks old while I worked FT, and he did an awesome job.
I’d tell that father, “Oh, well, this is your child, like it or not, if I have to work, you have to watch our child!” Plain and simple.

21
March 7, 2007
9:45 pm

Desert Songbird said:

There are so many things that are wrong in this situation, probably the worst being the precedent being set for the kids. I agree with you on this. That dad needs to suck it up and learn how to be a parent. He’s not babysitting - it’s his child and he’s providing care.

22
March 7, 2007
9:56 pm

carmen said:

Yeah, the dad just needs to deal with the crying. The baby will get over it eventually.

23
March 7, 2007
11:02 pm

Mommy the Maid said:

Wow. That’s a bit extreme.

24
March 7, 2007
11:03 pm

tiggerprr said:

It’s wrong for a lot of reasons that have already been stated, but I didn’t see the one thing that struck me. They are being neglectful of the older child by doing this. They are forsaking her education, which she needs to have. I am quite certain that this is truancy, and in some school districts is an unexcused absence and can ultimately result in criminal charges against the parents as well as (unfortunately) penalties against the older child.

Totally wrong, and they should probably be ashamed if not turned in.

25
March 7, 2007
11:33 pm

Summer said:

Question: Why can’t the dad take care of his own child? He should learn how to take care of his son. The older child should be in school not taking care of her baby brother. Doesn’t the Dad spend one on one time with his son. if he doesn’t he should. That the girl go to school.

26
March 8, 2007
2:05 am

Bex said:

That’s….interesting. The dad needs to learn how to calm the child sometime!! Now’s the perfect time to do that. Plus, it’s so hard on kids when they miss school–they fall so behind. And 10 days? That’s wack, yo.

27
March 8, 2007
2:07 am

Bex said:

oops I didn’t mean 10 days, I meant 3 days. And I still think 3 days is wack, lol

28
March 8, 2007
3:34 am

amy said:

I’m with Melissa it’s not babysitting when it’s your own kid!!! I have always hated that and I don’t even have my own children! I used to cry when my mom would leave me with my dad but guess what? She still went out and I still stayed with my dad. After she left and was gone about 5 min, it was fun time playing with dad. Dad needs to get over it but so does mom. It seems like she kind of feeds into the fact that her youngest doesn’t like to be without her, doesn’t it? It’s just a part of life.

29
March 8, 2007
3:38 am

MamaBee (Tonya) said:

I agree I think its wrong of the Mom to have the daughter stay home. I think that having her stay home is not going to help get things straight with the Dad and baby. My dh works 3rd shift so my son didnt see him much when he was a baby and he would cry when I left him at home with Daddy. After a few times of me just leaving and letting him stay with Daddy they got things worked out and everything has been ok since.

30
March 10, 2007
10:59 am

Desk Railroader said:

Would like to cast my vote for sunshinedaily4me

31
March 10, 2007
11:00 am

Housewife said:

A vote for sunshinedaily4me

32
March 15, 2007
8:40 pm

ModernMami said:

I agree with you. She’s only encouraging the baby’s actions and not giving him and dad a chance to bond.

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