Coming Out of the Closet

May 20, 2008 by Kailani  
Filed under Favorite Posts, blogging, my family

No, it’s not what you think – although there’s nothing wrong with that. ;-) I’m talking about coming out of the blogging closet.

As a lot of you already know, I’ve been blogging for about 2 years now. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Back when I started my first blog – you know, the very Pepto Bismo pink one – I had no idea what I was doing or what to say. There were many times I contemplated quitting because it just felt like I was talking to myself. How in the world was anyone going to find little ‘ol me in such a vast sea of blogs? It also didn’t help that I chose not to tell my family and friends about it.

Looking back, I’m not sure why I made that decision. I talk about my family in a pretty positive light (well, most of them anyway) and I don’t reveal anything that I think would be embarrassing to them. And pretty much everything personal that I share here I’ve probably already told them about anyway.

So why the secret? I think a part of me thought they wouldn’t approve. After all, the internet can be a dangerous place if not handled properly and don’t we just want our loved ones to be safe? I remember talking about blogs in general to a friend of mine and her first response was, “How do you know they are who they say they are? Maybe they’re making the whole thing up.” All I could say was, “Somehow, I just know they’re real.”

Also, I just didn’t know how to explain what a blog was to someone who’s never heard of it. How do you make them understand the friendships you make with people you’ve never met? How can they comprehend this massive support group you enter into where everyone is so willing to help each other out? I remember when Baby Bug was a year old and formed an attachment to “Meow”. I was terrified that Meow would one day get lost (like she almost did this past weekend) and I would have an inconsolable Baby Bug on my hands. After posting a picture of Meow on my blog, there were over 40 responses from people all over the world who offered to help find me find another one in their area. Now that’s what I call friendships.

Anyway, back to the reason for this post. About a year ago, I finally decided to tell DH about my blog. I thought he would be suspicious and think it was like a MySpace page or something. Surprisingly, he was very supportive and even bought me a laptop so I could blog on-the-go.

Then a few months ago, I told my sister. When she first started reading, she felt a little uncomfortable because she said it was like she was reading my diary. Now, since we’re both very busy and don’t see each other as often, she can go to my blog and find out what’s going on with my life. I’m still waiting for the day she actually leaves a comment, though (yes Sis, I’m talking about you).

Finally, I told my Mom. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be since she’s SOOOO into safety. Surprisingly, she said that she always wanted to do things like product reviews and was really interested in seeing my blog. When I pulled it up for her, she read one of my posts and every.single.comment that was left. In fact, she even came up with pseudo-names for her and Dad. They’re now referred to as Mr. & Mrs. Earthworm. How funny is that?

Anyway, I was just curious if you told your family and friends about your blog when you first started and why you made that decision.

Spotlight Comment by Daisy of Compost Happens : My mom read it from the get-go. My kids (16 and 21) now read it, and my husband stops in now and then and complains that his blog nickname is boring. :) My inlaws — well, they wouldn’t get it. Last Christmas we were explaining why so many gifts were wrapped in Amazon boxes. “You buy things? On the Internet?�? Never mind.

About the author:
Kailani is the owner and founder of An Island Life. You'll find her sharing her daily life as a mother to 3 wonderful daughters, working as a flight attendant, and living a blessed life in Hawaii.


56 Responses to “Coming Out of the Closet”
  1. d says:

    Wow, 2 years, and your family is just finding out.. Hmm well now that I think about it. I don’t think any of my family reads mine either. Not that I don’t talk about it. I like to tell my mom while we are giggling away, “this is a blog-able moment”
    I started blogging because I was so far away from friends and I loved reading all of theirs. I gave into the peer pressure. Now I live in the small community again and my blog allows me to rant and rave and not care who’s listening :)

    d’s last blog post..Random thoughts

  2. illahee says:

    my blog was started as a way to keep friends and family updated on my life, since i am a foreign wife in a foreign land. i gotta keep my secrets safe, nothing *too* personal on my blog!

    illahee’s last blog post..hanging out

  3. Jennifer says:

    Everyone in my family knows about my blog. Even my kids teachers read my blog. I am careful not to put anything that I wouldn’t want them to read. Sometimes that is hard if I want to vent but so far has worked out fine.

    I guess if I wanted to vent I could start a blog and not tell anyone.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..My New Look

  4. Carey says:

    My husband knows, and thats about it. I wanted it to be something/somewhere that i felt i could share what i am feeling…even if i didnt want the family to know…not that i was hiding anything..just wanted something/someplace that was all my own…without all the trouble that family can sometimes bring with them…does that make sense?

    Carey’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  5. Grace says:

    My husband knows, right from the very beginning but is too tired to stretch his English language muscles and read my posts. I, however, read his blog written in Japanese. Unfair, I know.

    My parents and my many siblings know all about my blog and read it often. My father also comments once in a while.

    Grace’s last blog post..local woman gets evicted

  6. Write From Karen says:

    Unfortunately, my family knows. And some clients. I say unfortunately because this prohibits me from talking about what I really want to talk about. (Hence my private, password-protected blog that I can vent to my heart’s content on).

    But it’s also a good thing because knowing I have people close to me reading makes me stay true to facts and fair in my opinions/thoughts/feedback. They are my personal censors and in this case, I truly believe that’s a good thing because I tend to be hot-headed and go off on tangents. Knowing they are there keeps me in line.

    In addition, I have family scattered all over the place and I can’t tell you the number of times we’ll get together and I begin to tell them something and they’re all like, “Oh, I already read that on your blog.” lol

    It’s sort of bad because this means I have nothing else to talk about! *grin*

    One last word of advice to those bloggers out there who are keeping their blogs a secret from their families – be careful, be very careful. Because secets have a tendency to come back and bite you in the butt.

    And yes, I’m speaking from experience.

  7. Sparky Duck says:

    The family knows about my blog, though I have never shared the website address. Not sure I would want them to read about my occasional bitching about them. Mrs Duck knows of course.

    Sparky Duck’s last blog post..Oregon will slam the door shut tonight

  8. witchypoo says:

    Only a few family members know about my blog. I doubt if more than one reads it regularly. But I write as if they were reading, and most family of origin stuff is left out. What’s the point? What I do is tell stories.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Giveaway!

  9. Ginny says:

    Nope, haven’t told anyone. Mainly for the reasons you have stated. I actually dread the day that someone does find it. I used to try marketing my name because I had a website that sold scrapbook stuff & I wanted it associated with my name. I didn’t try to hide that with my blog & then actually regretted not keeping it separate from my name.

    Ginny’s last blog post..Weekend Snapshot ~ Baby Birds

  10. VeRonda Wicks says:

    First, I want to say that I really enjoyed reading your post… it was refreshing and very down to earth.

    Yes, my family knows about my blog. For the most part, it was encouraging. My husband is completely behind me and so is my closest brother and his wife. My mom just has a lot of questions (she’s from the old school of 9 to 5 and not straying too far away from that). Actually, it was the friend side that I was skepical of. You just never can tell, you know? But, one of my closest friends visited the site and said she was proud of me for doing what I loved. Overall, I think having someone know who can support and encourage you is an excellent tool to pull out on those down days.

    VeRonda Wicks’s last blog post..Why You Sit on the Couch…

  11. Leanne says:

    Initially, I started blogging to show my art. Then my hubby was activated and left for Iraq – so I used it to communicate with him since there was such a huge time difference. Since then, I moved it all to my own domain and use it both for family and business, keeping a good balance, or at least I think.

    I think it’s cute that Mr. & Mrs. Earthworm will partake in your blog now. You waited too long to come out of the closet!

    Leanne’s last blog post..How Flowers Can Effect Mood

  12. Shilo Beedy says:

    I waited about a week or so before telling family members about mine. I had no idea what my blog was actual going to contain. But in the end I choose to list contest since for some odd reason I have luck with that and nothing else lol. But I do have a couple of poems on there as well as some free stuff listed. I’m very self conscious so I’m always afraid to admit to doing things that people will judge.

    Shilo Beedy’s last blog post..Momma In Flip Flops 2 Contest

  13. Renee says:

    actually I have told my family about my blog and even given the addy to MIL & one SIL who were curious about what a blog is. If they’ve ever read it, I don’t know cuz they would be just lurkers. LOL

    I also post my blog addy on a message board that I’m on so my good friends can read it. They leave comments though or at least tell me IRL that they read it.

    I think for the most part it’s okay to be out of the closet for my blog. I mean while I might need a place to vent about my family it’s good to keep that out of the open for the entire world to see…right? ;)

    Renee’s last blog post..had to share this again

  14. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says:

    I told my husband a few weeks after I started my blog and while at first he really didn’t see the point, now he reads it pretty religiously (at least to see what I’m saying about him, anyway. ;) ). A few months afterward, I sent out a general e-mail to my close family and friends to let them know that there was this new way to keep up with us. My close friends read – my family does not. Of course, neither of my parents are tech-savvy (my mom doesn’t even have a computer), but it surprised me when my brother said he doesn’t read it either.

    I included a note about my blog in my Christmas letter last year, to extended family and friends, but I have no idea if any of them read. :)

    Deb – Mom of 3 Girls’s last blog post..Tackle It Tuesday #34 – Whacking weeds

  15. Desert Songbird says:

    Hubby knows I blog; it was his suggestion! He knows where to find my blogs, and occasionally he checks in, but about a year ago, I asked him NOT to read it regularly as it was kind of like my “secret garden” – a place where I can talk things out and work things through.

    My oldest sister reads both of my blogs. When she moved back east, it was a way for her to keep up with what’s going with me and with the kids.

    A SIL has looked at my regular blog once, but doesn’t read either with regularly. My MIL and FIL don’t know where to find me, and my other sisters don’t either.

    Desert Songbird’s last blog post..Manic Monday – Play

  16. annaliza says:

    i started blogging to keep family members informed of what’s going on in our lives. we live about an hour and a half from all family members except for grandma. to the family, this is sooooooooo far away, thus the blog.

    like everyone, it’s turned out to be something greater than informing the fam. i wished i used alias’ though like yours. if i have a week long vacation, i think i’m gonna go to every post and change the names to alias’. i think that’s better. esp when i want to write about a squabble in the family :P

  17. Christine says:

    I didn’t tell my family about it for a long time. It just felt self-serving somehow. Then I mentioned it to my (very naive) mom one day and I said “I don’t know, I just don’t want to tell people it’s out there yet.” And she says “Isn’t it already out there?” Um. Good point.

    Christine’s last blog post..Birthday in the country

  18. Melissa says:

    I still have family that doesn’t know… I’ve been blogging for a year and a half. I waited awhile to tell my Husband because I was afraid he would think it was silly. And he kind of does, but he also sees that it’s a great thing for me! Not great enough to get a laptop… I wish :)

  19. Holly Schwendiman says:

    Good for you. I’m glad that your family supported your efforts. One wonderful thing about blogging is the details of family history that get included when you share little daily things and photos of you and your kids. I know many people that are now publishing their blogs into beautiful hardbound books as journals and scrapbooks. :)


  20. Santa Clarita Mom says:

    My friends think I’m nuts because I blog. They are like…why the heck are you doing that? In 5 years, they’ll all be asking me to help them build one. ;)

    Santa Clarita Mom’s last blog post..Free Children ID Kits

  21. mp says:

    Some know I have one..but really have no desire in getting the link. Even my BFF is “a blog? blog? What is that”.. I’ll give her the link and she still hasn’t gone..
    Oh well. I try not to ever write anything that would ever embarrass me or my family.

    mp’s last blog post..I’VE MOVED

  22. Arizona says:

    I didn’t tell my family right away about my blog. I figured they’d think it was stupid and wouldn’t care anyway, so I didn’t bring it up. I emailed a link to them, but I don’t know if they read it.

    Arizona’s last blog post..This One’s For Janna, Who Loves Socks With Sandals

  23. Tammy says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t tell your hubby at first…but so glad he was supportive though!

    I told family right away…actually, originally when I started my blog it was private- just for family and close friends. But then after reading so many great blogs out there I decided to be brave and go public.
    And you’re right…it’s amazing how closeknit this community can be- perhaps it’s because we relate with our hearts because we’re no all face to face.

    Tammy’s last blog post..A Spring Musicale

  24. stampedwithgrace says:

    this is exactly where I’m at! I have not told my friends/family. although some of my older kids know, but dh doesn’t. he would probably be unsure and I’d like to make it something before I tell many people. I haven’t posted much yet, but will be posting more soon since I just became a CFBA book reviewer. I will be telling my book discussion group and maybe some other people too :)
    thanks for your encouragement to tell!

    stampedwithgrace’s last blog post..Win on the Web!

  25. Jen @ One Moms World says:

    What an interesting post! I have told some of my friends and family and some have clicked with it right away but others look at me with foreign eyes like why are you doing that? LOL

    Jen @ One Moms World’s last blog post..Mommy Discovering a Whole Other Culture

  26. common mom says:

    I told everyone in my family – actually, there’s a link to my blog from my family home page that I’ve had for the past 8 years. We live far away from family, and it’s a way for them to stay in touch with what we’re doing. They even leave comments for me, which I love :-) It’s fun to know that my mom is reading about my day when she’s 1000 miles away at work. I love blogging. It may not be terribly interesting for anyone else, but it’s fun for me and for my family to stay in touch with what we’re doing out here :-)

  27. Summer says:

    The moment I started blogging I let all my friends and family know. I thought for sure they would be my only readers. But only two or three of them actually read my blog. Most of my current readers are people I’ve never met.

    Once I decided to start a blog, I did consider not telling my family (parents and siblings), because there are some things I could certainly vent about. But then I thought, if I wouldn’t say it to their face, I shouldn’t write about it. I can figure it out on my own.

    Summer’s last blog post..A giant greenish mystery

  28. desi says:

    no! no one knows.
    I don’t blog about extended family anyway.
    I don’t want to tell my husband, well, I don’t know. Because he’ll think it’s “strange”?

    desi’s last blog post..* IT * has happened

  29. Claudia says:

    HA! My anti-spam word was shopping! It’s like they got in my head or something. ;) First of all – SWEET blog, baby! It’s gorgeous. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE the layout. Second, kudos on coming out, it’s never easy, I did it and I just NOW convinced my bestfriend to read me. She now thinks I’m a whack job, of course, but knows how much I adore her…My husband encourages my purging and my mother, well, she unfortunately could care less one way or another…

    Good luck with it all!!!

    Claudia’s last blog post..Flesh Art

  30. Beachy Mimi says:

    My daughter help me set up my blog and only a couple of friends know. NO FAMILY as they star in my posts. I kinda like everyone not knowing.

  31. JoLynn from The Fit Shack says:

    Hi, congratulations on sticking with it and continuing to blog, that takes persistence! :)

    I haven’t told my parents about my blog but not for personal reasons, I don’t blog about them. They are just a little “behind the times” (no computer, no cell phone, no answering machine), which is fine, they’re happy. :) I simply haven’t wanted to explain it all and I already know that they have a negative view of the internet, which by the way I see all of the positive aspects of how the internet brings people together and helps so many with personal growth and positivity. ;)

    Thanks for an excellent topic, this is my first time visiting your blog.

    JoLynn from The Fit Shack’s last blog post..How To Stay Healthy & Fit While Working From Home

  32. Kelly@SHE-POWER says:

    First of all kudos to you for sticking with blogging 2 long years. In the blogasphere that’s a looong time.

    And bless your husband for buying you a laptop when you told him. My husband knew about my blog from the start, but he only reads the articles that are about us. And then it’s partly because I ask him to check he’ okay with what I’ve written.

    As for family, I completely get them not commenting as none of mine do either. Actually scratch that, my mum does sometimes. She’s been very supportive and has got into the whole blog thing herself. Most of my friends and family don’t get it though and think I’m taking some god awful risk. I’m not sure how…

    I wonder if our friends and younger family members will eventually catch on and we’ll lead the pack or will they always think we’re crazy…


    Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Our First SHE-POWER Man – Clay Collins from The Growing Life

  33. Krista says:

    My blog was started for family and friends because I didn’t know this other world existed. Now that I’ve found it and the soul searching posts have created responses that I can’t write on my blog I started an anonymous blog. I’ve always wanted to journal, but writing takes forever. Now I can type and it’s not for anyone really, I don’t care if I have a “readership”, but it’s a place where I can talk about anything.

    Krista’s last blog post..Snow in May?

  34. Elizabeth says:

    My family has been on board from the beginning. They\’re why I even started a blog. I am thrilled by all the relationships I have developed since starting my blog… They\’re why I keep going!

    Elizabeth’s last blog post..Going Postal

  35. Jamie says:

    My parents do know about my blog, but only my mom reads it (and very regularly I might add!) My dad only checks his e-mail and usually I have to do it for him as he doesn’t have a computer. ;)

    I’ve found that my own siblings only read mine occasionally and that if people are not into reading blogs, they just don’t check in very often.

    Now as far as work/co-workers go, I think only three people know about it and only one comments!

  36. Mel says:

    I told my family relatively quickly because I basically started it to keep in touch with them. My friends, however, I didn’t tell for a bit. Now they all check it out when they can and love to see the pix. Occasionally they comment, but they usually email me instead to tell me what they think. Congrats on sharing it with the fam and friends. You have one of the best blogs out there so you should show it off proudly.

    Mel’s last blog post..Feeling Fruity?

  37. Deidre says:

    I still haven’t told my family about my blog that i started back in 2003! Part of the reason is that originally it didn’t really sink in that i was communicating with The Internets. Slowly, I’ve been censoring my writing and have removed all the posts that are too personal. I even post under a fake name! (sneaky!).

    All my friends now about it – and I can only tell they read it because of my hit counter!

  38. Cathi says:

    Most of my family already know about my blog. My blog is my journal however I also have an “old fashioned” journal that I write in. It’s there that I write my personal feelings and things that I want to keep truly private.

    Cathi’s last blog post..Photo Hunt – Candy

  39. Deidre says:

    Er know about it.

  40. Angela says:

    My family all know about our blog (and I totally agree–one of the toughest parts is trying to explain the concept of a blog to a non-blogger…). I think I’d loose about 90% of my traffic if I’d left my friends/family in the dark. I’ve always been amazed by your following!

    Angela’s last blog post..How Does Your Garden Grow?

  41. Petula says:

    I have told all of my friends and a few read my blog, but my family hasn’t. Well, my daughter has and my estranged husband used to. (He probably stalks me still! :]) I really wish they would… I don’t think they think of it as serious writing. IDK.

    Petula’s last blog post..Take control of skin care

  42. Crazy Daisy says:

    My husband has known from the start. Not to long into it, I told one of my best friends. Eventually I told one other friend. Otherwise, no one knows. I go back and forth about it.

    Crazy Daisy’s last blog post..I’ve been tagged!

  43. Stacey says:

    I told john’s family, wish I hadn’t-there are a few who kinda stalk the blog! Even though I’m positive if I even do say anything about them.

    My family happened upon it, it was kinda a big deal. But it’s fine, I think they actually find they’re getting to know who I really am this way. And THAT has been a good thing.

    Thanks for being you, Kailani. I truly adore you. xoxo

    Stacey’s last blog post..The Girlie Garage Is Ready For You

  44. diana/sunshine says:

    i can understand why you didn’t tell others when you first started.

    i did tell mine because i had another one that was strictly a “here’s what we’re doing” for the family to keep up-to-date on our lives. when i switched, it was natural to let them know about it.

    now there are times i wish i didn’t. there are things i’d like to write about but can’t.

    diana/sunshine’s last blog post..God is like…

  45. Corrie says:

    I started blogging to keep everyone informed about my son’s fight with his tumor – it was easier to tell them about the blog so they could know just how he was doing. It was an incredible support to us during that very difficult time.

    Now, I use it as a creative outlet.

    Corrie’s last blog post..Sensory Garden

  46. Sarah (Real Life) says:

    I’m so glad your family is supportive! Most of my family and friends know I have a blog. My mom reads almost everything I write, and several of my friends do. I wanted to tell my husband, because I wanted the accountability so I wouldn’t vent about him to the whole world! I started telling friends because there were things I wrote about there that I wouldn’t have just come out and said, such as my battle with anxiety disorder, and other things. Now, they know they can come to me if they ever deal with these issues, and they do.

    Some of my friends thought it was a total waste of time at the beginning. Now, after a year, I’ve started a blog design business, and a local website, and I know part of the reason I was led to create a blog in the first place.

    Also, it’s an excuse to be silly sometimes!

    Sarah (Real Life)’s last blog post..A Prayer for Women

  47. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says:

    At first I only told a few close friends.

    Then a couple of weeks later I told my husband.

    A couple of weeks later I told my Mom.

    A couple of months later I told my in-laws.

    When I went to BlogHer I pretty much outed myself. Now even a couple of people at preschool know.

    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah’s last blog post..Another Reason Everybody Should Have Married Gabe

  48. tonya says:

    I did tell my family and friends (or most of them initially) and some found out along the way, but I felt like since I didn’t talk to some of them everyday or even once a week that it would be a good way for them to keep up with us. It’s funny, now, when a co-worker or a “new friend” finds out about it because they really want to go read it and most spend a lot of time pouring over it….maybe they are just looking to see if I have written about them- ha ha !

  49. Daisy says:

    My mom read it from the get-go. My kids (16 and 21) now read it, and my husband stops in now and then and complains that his blog nickname is boring. :) My inlaws — well, they wouldn’t get it. Last Christmas we were explaining why so many gifts were wrapped in Amazon boxes. “You buy things? On the Internet?” Never mind.

    Daisy’s last blog post..You said what ate your homework?

  50. Melissa Markham says:

    My hubby was blogging before I was. I was very proud of my blogging and I frequently send links to articles with family pictures to friends so they can easily see what we are up to. My dad rarely (maybe once a month) gets on a computer, but his wife does and they like to come by and see pictures of the kids. My mom knows about the blog, but I have no idea if she reads it except when I send her specific links. My stepson reads most of my post. In my family he is my most faithful reader:)

  51. Tara says:

    Actually, I really didn’t tell ANYONE about my blog at first. My husband, however, told EVERYONE and since he is very social and a minister it didn’t take long for word to get around.

    Tara’s last blog post..Father’s Day contest

  52. Jennifer in OR says:

    Great post!! My husband knew from day 1 because he’s the one who set it up and is my blog designer. He reads every word. Sometimes that’s not good! But, I really have nothing bad to say, it’s just that I don’t always like feeling like I have to watch what I say, but, that is a good thing. The rest of my family/friends didn’t know for up to a year, and I would say that most still don’t, except for very close friends.

    Jennifer in OR’s last blog post..The Artist

  53. Jen says:

    Yes, I told my family because it was originally all for them, just newsy stuff. I never thought anyone else would ever care. I still have a small readership, and that’s okay with me! :-)

    Jen’s last blog post..A Family’s Worst Nightmare

  54. Janet says:

    What a cool post, especially about your parents!

  55. Hillary says:

    Kailani! I remember the pepto pink blog! I found you a loooong time ago on blog explosion or something. I think I did the rent my blog with you. I notcied a hit on my statcounter tonight from Hawaii, and saw that people had been searching for \”My Pink Diary\” and landing at my site recently, so naturally you popped into my mind! You used to read my blog, and I yours. Just thought I\’d pop over and say hello!

    … ummm… now that I\’ve typed this out, it seems kinds weird. hehehe! But sending a freindly hello anyway! :) Happy memorial day!

    Hillary’s last blog post..Even when life doesn’t go as I’d planned

  56. JHS says:

    Kailani: Glad to see you back in action, participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at Live from Waterloo on Monday, June 2, 2008! Be sure to check out the other excellent entries this week!

    JHS’s last blog post..A Unique Legal Theory Serves as a Reminder to Blog Responsibly

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