43 and Pregnant
Yes, the news is out. I’m 43 and pregnant. I’ll be 44 when this baby is due and will probably be the oldest mommy on the playground. I realize that age should not be a factor when you’re relatively healthy but try telling that to my body. It’s tired.
Needless to say, this was not a planned pregnancy. Given the fact that I’m on the pill, my husband and I work opposite flying schedules, and just the absolute busyness of our lives this is pretty much a miraculous event. I’m still in shock. In fact, I recently gave away all my maternity clothes and baby items to a friend of mine. Do you think I can ask for it back?
Before I continue, let me say that I know that every baby is a blessing. Given the fact that we tried for years before we had Baby Bug and suffered two miscarriages (one in my 4th month) I know how truly lucky I am. I really do.
But is it so terrible to feel a little (okay, a lot) of apprehension about starting all over again? The sleepless nights, the feedings every 2 hours, the tons of equipment you need to take with you just to go to the store across the street? I mean, it was only last week that I finally took Baby Bug to the shopping mall without a diaper bag and stroller. I felt so liberated!
And what about the pregnancy? Unfortunately, I’m not one of those pregnant mothers you find glowing with radiance and excitement. Truth be told you will probably find me curled up in a ball on the floor popping my Zolfran and sleeping for 16 hours a day.
DH on the other hand it thrilled. In fact, he’s already thinking of baby names which is a miracle since I couldn’t even get him to talk about the subject until a month before both of my prior births. He’s so happy about this unexpected news that it’s all he can talk about. He’s really starting to get on my nerves.
I don’t know, I’m hoping that something inside me will eventually click and I’ll begin to feel what I’m suppose to feel – excited, thrilled, or even just happy. However, I know that once the baby is here, I’ll look into his or (hopefully) her eyes and know that my life is just the way it should be.
But until then, don’t mind me. I know I’ll have good days and bad days and I’ll try not to bore you with all the pregnancy details. Heck, I’ll be lucky if I can post at all.
Oh by the way, I’m looking for guest posters . . . just in case. Email me or use my contact form.
Thank you for all your well wishes and congratulations! It meant the world to me that you took the time to stop by and leave a comment. You guys are the best . . . really!
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Owner of An Island Life and Family Review Network. Wife, mother, and flight attendant . . . living a blessed life in Hawaii. |
Aw, yay, that’s exciting!!! Congrats and be share to take care of yourself. =)
I’m sure finding out such surprising and unexpected news during the holidays is just leaving you a bit stressed out. I bet anytime now you’re going to feel that glow and a smile will find you! Congratulations again on such a blessing!
Congratulations!! What a special holiday surprise
A friend of mine (also 43) found out a little over 9 months ago that she was pregnant. She literally cried for 3 weeks! So don’t feel too bad. Of course when little baby R was born? All was wonderful And the fact that she didn’t gain as much weight as she did w/ her 5 previous pregnancies is as she put it “priceless”!
You’ll do fine. I have great faith in the fact that planned or not, you adore your two little girls. This one will be no exception. So I say vent away when you need to! There’s no better place.
Kailani you’re an amazing amazing woman and I have absolutely no doubt you will continue to be such. I will be honest, at 41 I cannot fathom doing it again, in fact I’m not sure I can handle being the grandmother I’ll need to be in the Spring. But something tells me you WILL radiate and….congratulations. xo
it must have been quite the shock, and you’re still recovering from it…in the first trimester no less! you’ll probably start feeling better about it soon, at least i hope you will!
congrats again from japan.
When we found out that Baby Girl was on her way I cried. I had gone into the Dr. for a bad respitory infection. He asked me to take a test, just in case. He thought my tears were of joy. No such luck. I was so upset. We were starting to realize that Little Bug had some major struggles and I was not ready to throw another kid into the mix! But it works out
And you are an AWESOME mom!! I’m sorry your pregnancies aren’t the greatest…
Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with your DH being home on injured leave?
I’m sure you’ll be fine and we will all give you lots of slack!!!
i’m 42 now, but at 32 i knew i was completely done. so much so, i had my tubes tied. maybe it’s a little scary for you now, but i’m sure all your maternal instincts will kick in soon w the new baby. i’m thinking it’s a boy (that’s my psychic guess lol). sometimes we think about how much stress it is being pregnant. some women love their babies but don’t enjoy being pregnant. i loved it until the last 2 or 3 months (maybe not the first 3 or 4 mos w my girls either cos i was sick ALL the time!) lol i know you’re strong and you’ll be o.k. i think it’s great that your husband is thrilled. would be worse if he wasn’t feeling it.
Hey girl…
I imagine this has been a bit of a shock. Never fear about any changes you need to make here nor any fussing/griping/whining you need to do. We love ya just the same and are here to support you every step of the way!
As for the starting over, I can kinda relate. When DD3 came home from China at 10 mos, our other 2 were 4 and 5. We had given all but everything away. I have adapted and love her like the older two. Hubby still struggles with the ‘baby’ business but it will pass and all will be well.
Please feel free to share any and all bits about Baby2B as you desire. I won’t judge ya, promise!
Oh and bring on the Zofran!
Hugz,
Alyson
Kailani, I know you must be overwhelmed and though I can’t offer anything to make you feel better, I still hope you’ll feel better really soon.
Who knows? Maybe this pregnancy won’t be that bad. Everything will fall into place, I believe.
I can so relate to the Zofran. Take care of yourself, and everything will fall into place. We “started over” after our oldest was 4. He was 5 1/2 when the baby was born. It’s hard at first, but you fall into the baby rhythm again.
Congratulations on the news and it’ll all fall into place as you go through it.
I know how you feel about the not being excited part. When I got pregnant (unexpected) with my second child, I already had a 6 month old and was less than thrilled. When they told me at 4 1/2 month that there might be something wrong with him (there wasn’t), you wouldn’t believe the protectiveness that washed over me! When you feel your little one move for the first time, everything will feel better! Your “Mommy” hormones will kick in! Congratulations!
It is absolutely ok to feel less than thrilled about a surprise pregnancy. Yes, not being able to have a baby is difficult but having one can be too, especially when it wasn’t in the plan. I know you’ll love this baby just as much and things will click into place eventually. (speaking from past experience here
Congratulations!
Like all the previous commenters said… it will all work out! I wish you the best. And sound off on us, if you need to! I know I don’t mind!
Congrats again!
Aw, congrats!! I can understand how you feel.
My mother had me when she was 38, and she was pregnant a few more times after that. She received a lot of negative comments from her own relatives.
Obviously it all worked out, though!
Your own Christmas surprise…I’m sure this will mean good things for you and your family.
Hang in there!
I’m 43 also, and apprehensive would be an understatement. What you’re feeling is normal. I know that it’s going to be a huge blessing for your family, too.
First. You’re 43? Holy Mother of all that is Holy! You do NOT look any older than 29! Honest and I am not just saying that to get brownie points.
Second, wait until after the morning sickness phase. I suffered terribly with that, but by the end I was so much better and felt so much happier.
Again, congratulations!
you will feel better and more excited when you stop throwing up or maybe not until the baby is here. from a mom of 6
What you’re feeling is totally normal. Shoot, I’m all freaked out by your pregnancy too cuz it means that this is still a possibility for me at just about 42! I was so hoping that menopause was almost here for me. I have no idea what I would do if I were expecting a new baby after all this time. I still have a few baby things in the house to ward off such a thing. Cuz you know what causes this, getting rid of that last baby item.
Unless the friend that you gave the clothes to is due the same time, I think that you can ask to borrow the clothes back. I’m sure she would be thrilled for you to be needing them again.
I really do hope that this pregnancy goes well for you and that you and the baby are both healthy & safe. Feel free to continue to post your feelings here, everyone knows how this all goes. We want to send you virtual hugs.
i can understand your apprehension. i think most of us women would have some of the same feelings. you’re probably still a little in shock. but i also think the happiness and excitement will kick in.
having your husband so excited will help, i’m sure. try to imagine your thoughts if he wasn’t happy about this pregnancy.
i look forward to your posts on the pregnancy =)
WooHoo! I have nothing but happy positive thoughts for you. I’m 44, never been married, no children and I have hope. Well miracles do happen.
Congratulations, many blessings and much joy!!!
My youngest was a bit of a shock too, granted I was only 28, but still we had decided we were done. two was good, only along came 3. Similar situation, it was like “how did that happen?”. There were good days and bad, just like you, the thought of all that baby crap again, was depressing and exhausting. But can I tell you, looking back now, the youngest has been my greatest blessing. I know it’s exhausting, and I felt the same way I imagine you are now. But in the end it all worked out. I’m sure it will for you as well.
hey there dear i know exactly how you feel. im not 43 but i get really depressed during pregnancies and i lost a baby midterm and i hate being pregnant beyond words . with my last pregnancy i felt lost we were going through a bad spell i was sick and all i could thik is why why why and felt bad that i just didnt want to be pregnant anymore and it got worse when i found out another girl it didnt get better until probably a couple days after she was born now i am glad she is here i would change it but i dont want to go through that again and i was gonna get a tubal but no insurace and now my DH is thinking to try again for a boy and alll i do is grin and look away so im here for you blogg away good luck and my prayers are there for u
Congrat’s…. I don’t think it matters what age you are we all go through those early pregnancy stresses. I know I did. You will adapt to the sleepless nights and all that goes with the baby in no time. It is just what mom’s do and we are darn good at it.
My third pregnancy was a shocker, and not at all desired. When I found out I said “If there is a God, this is his sick, cruel joke way of telling me I need him.” I was not at all excited about him. I even wanted to give him up for adoption, but I thought it would be bad after keeping his two older biological siblings, lol. My husband FORCED me to nurse him, and after 2 months I finally felt complete love for him.
Turns out, he is my “favorite” now. His birth is what sent me over the edge and running to God and changed our whole lives for the better.
(the kids call him my favorite, I wouldn’t put it that way, it is more like I pick my battles with the monster so he gets away with a bit more than the other kids, lol)
Everything happens for a reason! I truly believe that. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks before AQ shut down and I was very concerned about what the future would hold…but everything worked out just fine. Your apprehensions are totally normal. Just take good care of yourself and don’t worry about blogging. Although we’ll all be anxious to read updates, you, your family, and the miracle growing inside of you are your top priorities.
Take care and if you need anything we’re all here for you = )
I know your pain. At age 40 & 52, we adopted our foster son. Our girls were grown & mostly gone from home. Talk about starting over. I’m just glad I didn’t have to go thru the morning sickness. And yes, we get,”your grandson is so cute”. Thanks, I’ll be sure and tell my daughter, but for now, meet my son.
I can only imagine the shock but it will all work out. I can understand the getting rid of everything then getting pregnant lol did that myself
CONGRATS!!!!
Oh, the news is still so fresh to have an “ideal” reaction to an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy, and your response is completely normal. And as you know, in the first trimester you’re usually exhausted and miserable, which makes it hard to be happy about much at all! That maternal instinct will kick in soon enough (say, around week 10 or 12?) and you’ll be just as pleased as your husband is!!! I am excited for you!! God bless!
I assumed you were much younger, if that’s any consolation…
I hope you have a smooth and happy pregnancy. And that the girls are as excited as your husband!
It’s going to be wonderful. Really. But it’s OK if you feelotherwise. I would too!
Congratulations again! I would feel a mixed bag of emotions. I think that’s completely normal. You were in one mommy mode and now you’re about to switch gears. I’m 39 and if I were to get pregnant now I’d freak out to be totally honest with you.
I know as your pregnancy progresses you’ll be able to relax and enjoy it. Your husband sounds like he is already very excited!
Congrats!
I had my 4th just before my 3rd went to Kindergarten – we were so close to being free of all the baby trappings, and had already gotten rid of everything. So close, yet, what a blessing. This boy (the others are girls) has changed our lives completely!
Good luck, and rest as much as possible.
aww, congrats! a friend of a friend is now pregnant for the first time (with twins) at 44. she went through a lot to get to this point, but has many of the same thoughts that you do.
enjoy your “surprise”, and don’t be surprised if you aren’t the oldest mom on the playground, it’s really common to have baby’s after 40 now
Wow! What a gift from God! Congratulations on your newest little blessing
. Children late in life help to keep you young 
! Yeehaw! I was so excited when I saw your post title this morning.
from everyone here at Rocket, we hope that everything goes really smoothly for you! Congrats!
congratulations, may your pregnancy be problem free and filled with great experiences. It is always are blessing to give birth no matter what the age is. The adventure has began.
I’m right there with you on the whole apprehension bit. When I was pregnant with my second we were totally in sync that we were done having babies. We were happy with two. Then, after my second was born, my husband starting playing the “what if” game. “What if we just try for one more?” He, not so secretly, wants a boy. I’m not so sure I want to go through the exhaustion of pregnancy and then embark on the sleepless nights and such again. I’ll be looking to you to see how it goes
Well, I can sympathize with you about the surprise pregnancy! I’m sure you’re still reeling from the crazy news, but what a precious surprise!
Besides, it looks like you have a VERY cute helper to lend a hand when the new little one arrives!
WOW! Congratulations!!! I know how it feels to start over again. My daughter is 10 years older than her brothers. Take it easy. I hope this pregnancy is an easier one.
Wow! Its one of those, mouth agape and can’t close it, moments… In a good way! I say this b/c my best friend is pregnant again and like you, she (they) totally didn’t expect it. And, I have one better (well maybe not) than being on the pill. She had the ring inside that had been there since her last birth, (clearing my throat) 7 1/2 years ago. Yep! She called me while she was in the bathroom and was in complete shock… We both were! Now, several months later, she’s had time to adjust AND fall in love. She’s not due until February, but she’s already saying how she’s cherishing these last few weeks b/c the baby will then be available to everyone and she won’t be able to have him to herself. I said all this to say its only a matter of time before the shock gives way to complete and utter love… Congrats!
Congratulations! Hopefully, this pregnancy will surprise you and be even easier than before! May God bless you all abundantly each day!
Although I can’t even imagine being pregnant at my age (42), only because both my girls are adults (18 & 19). Baby Bug is still, well… a baby
I’m sure you’ll feel waaaay better about it soon.
I guess that’s what happens when you have your hubby at home for several weeks straight!!!
Happy thoughts going your way!
I can see how you’d be apprehensive – I planned this pregnancy (I’m 8 weeks) and I’m still apprehensive – like, “Do I know what I’m getting myself into?” I don’t look forward to sleepless nights – I don’t look forward to getting as big as an elephant – I was not thrilled when the morning sickness finally reared it’s ugly head.
But you know when these babies show up we’ll both be swooning with glee when we’re not wishing we were passed out in bed.
First off, Congratulations!!
My mom had my sister when i was 16 and she was 36 and then had my brother when she was 40 and i was 20!! So she really started ALL.OVER. AGAIN. I’m sure your feelings are normal, we all feel like that at any age when we are pregnant. Once the baby comes, i’m sure you’ll be just fine. This is a wonderful blessing for you.
We’ve had surprises, too. We have 3 boys and only one was planned. I was not at all thrilled about #2, until the last trimester. DH was not at all thrilled about #3, perhaps until the birth. Takes a little time to adjust. Maybe this one will be a boy and an easier pregnancy for you. Moms seem to suffer more with girls.