Yes, the news is out. Iâ€™m 43 and pregnant. Iâ€™ll be 44 when this baby is due and will probably be the oldest mommy on the playground. I realize that age should not be a factor when youâ€™re relatively healthy but try telling that to my body. Itâ€™s tired.
Needless to say, this was not a planned pregnancy. Given the fact that Iâ€™m on the pill, my husband and I work opposite flying schedules, and just the absolute busyness of our lives this is pretty much a miraculous event. Iâ€™m still in shock. In fact, I recently gave away all my maternity clothes and baby items to a friend of mine. Do you think I can ask for it back?
Before I continue, let me say that I know that every baby is a blessing. Given the fact that we tried for years before we had Baby Bug and suffered two miscarriages (one in my 4th month) I know how truly lucky I am. I really do.
But is it so terrible to feel a little (okay, a lot) of apprehension about starting all over again? The sleepless nights, the feedings every 2 hours, the tons of equipment you need to take with you just to go to the store across the street? I mean, it was only last week that I finally took Baby Bug to the shopping mall without a diaper bag and stroller. I felt so liberated!
And what about the pregnancy? Unfortunately, Iâ€™m not one of those pregnant mothers you find glowing with radiance and excitement. Truth be told you will probably find me curled up in a ball on the floor popping my Zolfran and sleeping for 16 hours a day.
DH on the other hand it thrilled. In fact, heâ€™s already thinking of baby names which is a miracle since I couldnâ€™t even get him to talk about the subject until a month before both of my prior births. Heâ€™s so happy about this unexpected news that itâ€™s all he can talk about. Heâ€™s really starting to get on my nerves.
I donâ€™t know, Iâ€™m hoping that something inside me will eventually click and Iâ€™ll begin to feel what Iâ€™m suppose to feel â€“ excited, thrilled, or even just happy. However, I know that once the baby is here, Iâ€™ll look into his or (hopefully) her eyes and know that my life is just the way it should be.
But until then, donâ€™t mind me. I know Iâ€™ll have good days and bad days and Iâ€™ll try not to bore you with all the pregnancy details. Heck, Iâ€™ll be lucky if I can post at all.
Thank you for all your well wishes and congratulations! It meant the world to me that you took the time to stop by and leave a comment. You guys are the best . . . really!
Owner of An Island Life. A flight attendant and mother to 3 beautiful girls. . . living a blessed life in Hawaii.