43 and Pregnant

December 14, 2008 by  
Filed under hawaii, my family

Yes, the news is out. I’m 43 and pregnant. I’ll be 44 when this baby is due and will probably be the oldest mommy on the playground. I realize that age should not be a factor when you’re relatively healthy but try telling that to my body. It’s tired.

Needless to say, this was not a planned pregnancy. Given the fact that I’m on the pill, my husband and I work opposite flying schedules, and just the absolute busyness of our lives this is pretty much a miraculous event. I’m still in shock. In fact, I recently gave away all my maternity clothes and baby items to a friend of mine. Do you think I can ask for it back?

Before I continue, let me say that I know that every baby is a blessing. Given the fact that we tried for years before we had Baby Bug and suffered two miscarriages (one in my 4th month) I know how truly lucky I am. I really do.

But is it so terrible to feel a little (okay, a lot) of apprehension about starting all over again? The sleepless nights, the feedings every 2 hours, the tons of equipment you need to take with you just to go to the store across the street? I mean, it was only last week that I finally took Baby Bug to the shopping mall without a diaper bag and stroller. I felt so liberated!

And what about the pregnancy? Unfortunately, I’m not one of those pregnant mothers you find glowing with radiance and excitement. Truth be told you will probably find me curled up in a ball on the floor popping my Zolfran and sleeping for 16 hours a day.

DH on the other hand it thrilled. In fact, he’s already thinking of baby names which is a miracle since I couldn’t even get him to talk about the subject until a month before both of my prior births. He’s so happy about this unexpected news that it’s all he can talk about. He’s really starting to get on my nerves.

I don’t know, I’m hoping that something inside me will eventually click and I’ll begin to feel what I’m suppose to feel – excited, thrilled, or even just happy. However, I know that once the baby is here, I’ll look into his or (hopefully) her eyes and know that my life is just the way it should be.

But until then, don’t mind me. I know I’ll have good days and bad days and I’ll try not to bore you with all the pregnancy details. Heck, I’ll be lucky if I can post at all.

Oh by the way, I’m looking for guest posters . . . just in case. Email me or use my contact form.

Thank you for all your well wishes and congratulations! It meant the world to me that you took the time to stop by and leave a comment. You guys are the best . . . really!

About the Author: Kailani:
Owner of An Island Life. A flight attendant and mother to 3 beautiful girls. . . living a blessed life in Hawaii.
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85 Responses to “43 and Pregnant”
  1. 51
    michellew says:

    Congratulations! As a 37 year old mother of 3 who is always contemplating adding to our family, but questioning whether or not I am too old, I am loving this!
    Take good care of yourself! You’ve given me hope!

  2. 52
    grubmama says:

    congratulations! you have beautiful children…why stop with three?

  3. 53
    Tammy W says:

    I was 38 with my last…yep big surprise there and I was on the pill too! I pray your pregnancy goes MUCH MUCH better than mine did. (I was diagnosed Breast Cancer at 28 weeks). Pay close attention to your body and MAKE your doctor listen to you!!!!!


  4. 54

    I know a lot of how you are feeling. Age wise, no but surprise pregnancy yes. We found out we were having our 3rd when our daughter was just 11 months old. It took months to get excited but now that I’m nearing the end of this pregnancy it’s really starting to become REAL for me. I’m sure you will do great again, just give it some time.

  5. 55

    Congratulations!!!! I opened this and was so thrilled and shocked…and thrilled!!!!! I am going to love reading your journey…hope you blog TONS about it! Many rich blessings to you and yours!

  6. 56
    Shae says:

    Congratulations. An exciting time for you.

  7. 57
    Melinda says:

    That happened to a relative of my husbands. She had two kids in college and then got pregnant…then she had surgery to prevent any further pregnances, but it didnt work, and she got pregnant AGAIN. So now they have a 22 yr old, a 20 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. It must be hard to start all over.

    I dont think anyone would blame you for feeling a sense of anxiety.
    I’m sure your feelings will change towards this baby once you hear the hearbeat and as the pregnancy progresses. :)

    I hope this pregnancy goes easier than your others.

  8. 58

    You’ll find your joy in your own time. It will happen. For now, just take care of yourself.

  9. 59
    Kari says:

    Congratulations! Here’s to you having a healthy, happy pregnancy. Take care.

  10. 60

    I think it is fantastic – so exciting – you will be dog ass tired for the next two years – it will pass in a blur and then you will have all the cuddles and snuggles and kisses and forget all about it!!

  11. 61

    How exciting!!! I will be praying for you and the baby =)

  12. 62

    Oh my goodness, I’m not sure if I envy you! When the baby arrives of course you will be thrilled but the shock must be overwhelming at times! In awhile you will be excited so don’t worry about that. Give yourself some time.

    Your friend will give your stuff back, probably without even asking, so don’t worry about that either.

    I hope everything goes well for you… Take care!

  13. 63
    Jess @ NBP says:

    Congrats on the pregnancy! I felt the same as you when I pissed on the stick for the second after 7 months post with Cman. It was a horrible feeling and still to this day I feel horrible that I had two so close together and that I can’t get them very much of their own toys. They play with everything we have but neither one has a MY toy. KWIM? But I wouldn’t trade it for anything, although I’d like to go for a girl. LOL


  14. 64
    Dee says:

    Hi Kailani!

    I understand completely what you are going thru and your thoughts. I could still have children and if I should and if I did, my thoughts would be right there where yours are.

    Now having said that, I hope you do have a safe and healthy pregnancy……I hope you GLOW~

  15. 65
    Kristin says:

    Totally not a bore!

    Yay I get to be pregnant with someone!

  16. 66
    Amanda says:

    Congratulaitons Kailani!! I am extrmely excited for you! I wish it were me! hehe

  17. 67
    Nikki says:

    Congratulations!! What a special holiday surprise!

  18. 68
    Jennifer says:

    congrats to your family!!

  19. 69

    Oh Kailani, I just saw this (I’m a bit behind again, as usual). Congratulations!!

    I think of many of the same things when I wonder if we should have a 4th baby. I’d be in my 40′s by then likely enough, do we want to start all over, etc. I’ll have to watch and see how it goes for you. ;)

    Any bets as to how many people are going to ask if you’re hoping for a boy this time? LOL

  20. 70
    Aloha Monkey says:

    Wow! Congratulations! I guess, from what you said, this is truly a miracle. My family would like to have one more addition, but I said my baby carrying days are over. I think at 39 years old, I’m too fragile. But I’m so happy for your blessing.

  21. 71
    Ginny says:

    It’s ok to feel that way! I only wanted one baby. I felt the same way when I had my second. I will be honest, it didn’t really fully click for me until the day I had her. Terrible I know, I had her 5 weeks early though. Now I couldn’t imagine life without her!

    Congratulations to you!

  22. 72
    Debbie says:

    Congratulations. I’m excited for you. I am 44 and what a wonderful surprise that would be to be prego! Take care. Keep us updated.

  23. 73
    Jamaise says:

    My Mom was 50 with her last, my little brother Hayden. She is Mom to nine of us. Before Hayden, she had he uterus cauterized (sorry to be graphic) & had to sign to have it done stating she wanted no more children. I went with her for a constultation on possibly having the procedure done again – there on the ultrasound we saw him & he was sliding back & forth like he was in a bath tub!
    He keeps her young & yours will too, after it wears you out!
    Congrats to you!

  24. 74
    monika says:

    hi kailiani!
    congratulations! that’s hapy news. i’m 44 and had a miscarriage about 2 months ago. well, congrats again –hey things happen for a reason:) aloha!

  25. 75
    jennifer says:

    Awww, honey, no worries! Just bring the baby to bed with you, roll over and nurse when you need to, and nobody wakes up. Other than that, all you need are some diapers and maternity jeans and are you good to go!

    Congrats again!

  26. 76

    I don’t think your feelings are odd and I am sure as things progress, the ‘excited feelings’ will emerge. It definitely seems like this child is a special gift from God, considering you were on the pill and your schedules.

    I hope you will feel better and have more energy soon! Are the girls excited?

  27. 77
    Becky says:

    Congrats! I happened upon your post when searching for info about being pregnant at 43. I just tested positive myself….yep an accident. I had my first child when I was 40 after two miscarriages. I didn’t expect to ever get pregnant again but here we are…..It’s scary isn’t it? I’m scared to death…

  28. 78
    BeachMama says:

    Oh Kailani! Congratulations on your pregnancy. As unexpected as it is, you are right that it is a blessing. Wishing you all the best over the next nine months or so.

  29. 79
    Jassett stewart says:

    my oldest is 20 (daughter) and my son is 18, now at age 44 i believe i am now pregnant. i am not sure what i will do if that’s true.

  30. 80
    Jassett says:

    my oldest is 20 (daughter) and my son is 18, now at age 44 i believe i am now pregnant. i am not sure what i will do if that’s true. but God knows best. you will be fine!

  31. 81
    sherry heschong says:

    i am a mother 3 im 43 yrs old i had fertility problems i guess i had a kid in 20s a kid in 30s and a kid in 43 i feel i make a better parent now than then…..i ask some friends who where on bus trip 70 80 s who had kid in the 40s 1/2 bus raised there hand, dont let anyone tell you to worry just have who cares

  32. 82
    Angela says:

    Ok, I have an 8 month old healthy baby girl. I was 42 when I had her. I’m 43 now and have missed a period so not sure at this time if I am pregnant, but will find out soon I’m sure. I have a 23 year old son and a 22 year old daughter from a previous marriage. My daughter is married and was pregnant when I was and had my granddaughter 4 months after I had my baby. Yes, it was pretty special, this whole experience. I had a perfect pregnancy, was actually over 2 weeks late. I had natural delivery with no pain meds/epidural. The nurse said I was a ‘textbook’ delivery. My father-in-law has a sister 23 years younger than he is. His mother had his sister when she was in her 40′s. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about having my baby girl at my age. She has brought so much joy to my husband and I. She was not planned although we had tried a few ears before and I had 2 miscarriages within 3 years so thought it was not in the cards. Well, look at me now, lol. There are women in their 50′s, 60′s, and a few even older than that have had babies. So, the 40′s age range is not ‘SO’ crazy as many make it out to be. It really annoys me that such hoopla is made over it.

  33. 83
    Tee says:

    wow … I feel better already then. I am 43 and was told YEARS ago that I could not get pregnant. But I am 14 days late and going to the dr tomorrow. Urine test have been negative but the the Dr told me that my hcg levels could just be low since I have been having normal periods (perfect 28 day cycle) like clock work since forever ago. I am scared to death of course, I am a nurse and I read toooo much about risk and things that could happen. Reading all the post have helped to ease my nerves a little. So Thanks!

    • 83.1
      Margie says:

      I just came across your blog, & wanted to share that I am 40 & 6 weeks pg! :) Surprised, happy, & nervous!! We had our first child via in vitro b/c of my PCOS, so this ‘natural’ occurence was a bit of a surprise. Please share any health tips you all have, as I’m trying not to get caught up in the anxiety of all that can go wrong!!

  34. 84

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